The Egyptian (1954) (1954)

Not one of Michael Curtiz' best films, "The Egyptian" is seen here in a serviceable print (and in widescreen) but somehow this transfer doesn't ring any bells. The film itself is a static, sometimes involving historical epic, and the cast is good. Edmund Purdom is fine (despite bad reviews at the time) and he's capably supported by Gene Tierney, Victor Mature, Jean Simmons, and Michael Wilding. But Daryll Zanuck discovery (and mistress) Bella Darvi, as the evil temptress, is a liability. Zanuck wanted Marlene Dietrich to play the sensual siren who leads Purdom astray--and though she might have been too old at the time, she'd at least have delivered her lines with some conviction and style. The film is slow at times, but it picks up in the last act, and is often affecting, despite the limitations of the script and direction. Other reviewers have stated they couldn't turn off the Korean subtitles: I had the same trouble, and I found them distracting. Chances are this film will be released someday in a restored print. I'd suggest hardcore fans wait for that edition, when it arrives.

This is one of the great epics... though for Fox was not a great box-office success at the time. On the DVD itself it is sad that 20th Century Fox seemed to have forgotten about their own DVD release and it is long overdue to those that still enjoy these old movies.

This import DVD edition has lost some of its superb color and sound in its transfer that a movie like this requires but at least it is an opportunity to enjoy a marvellous film though not historically accurate in any way. It is a wonderful classic with a familiar stable of classic stars of that time. At a good price, worth having if you can't hold out for Fox themselves to release it on DVD.

Buy The Egyptian (1954) (1954) Now

I am not going to review the movie, that has already been done. This review is about the Blu-Ray disc. Anyone who is a fan of this movie and has a HDTV/Blu-Ray setup needs to get this disc. Yes, the price is higher than most Blu-Ray releases, but it is well worth it. That is if superior picture quality (1080p) and superior sound quality (DTS 5.1) is important. The transfer is also in the original CinemasScope aspect ratio of 2.55, before CinemaScope went to 2.35 to make room for the duel Mag/Optical soundtracks on the film.

I was a little concerned at first, especially since the video resolution of 1080p and the type of 5.1 sound (DTS), was not included in the product discription. But I am glad I went ahead with the order anyway. I have been waiting a long time for a blu-ray release of "The Egyptian" and it has been worth the wait and the price.

It looked great in my home theater which is equipped with a 92" diag. screen,(which gives me a wall to wall picture presentation) 1080p front projector and 7.1 surround sound system. From the Fox/Cinemascope logo to the ending credits, this movie was great entertainment. If you enjoy the Fox "Sword and Sandle" series (ie. "The Robe"), include "The Egyptian", you won't be disappointed.

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This is a marvelous epic film, the acting is remarkable, and Victor Mature is simply enchanting in this film. The three main characters interact gracefully, and the plot about an ancient Monotheistic Religion in Egypt is remarkably well written. The movie is partly based on fact, and partly romanticized. The bluray version is far superior to all of the other versions out on the market, as I purchased all of them available, and this version is simply perfect.

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The Egyptian (1954) [Blu-ray]Firstly let me agree with most of the other reviewers of the blue ray edition of this film by stating that finally justice has been done in both sumptuous picture and sound quality for this incredibly courageous biblical widescreen epic spectacular of the middle 1950's that until recently has been mostly ignored.

Why courageous? Because it was a major commercial release from a leading Hollywood studio in the early to mid 1950's when most of America was christian and conservative. Then along comes this film with its criticisms of the prevailing religion in ancient Egypt, the vicious & politically ambitious priests and highlighting a pacifist pharaoh who is radically different to anyone who preceeded him, obsessed as he is with his monotheistic or "one god" theory of religion. This radical departure from religious tradition obviously brings him into conflict with the ruling elite of the priests and he is targeted for removal by this elite priesthood. The main character, Sinuhe the physician, later meets a grave robber who insists that there are no gods & that every dead pharaoh has had their graves broken into and haven't preserved any of their material possessions in this life for themselves as gods in the next life. Sinuhe tends to agree with this atheist philosophy. Later at the movie's end he is converted to the religious beliefs of his weak & effeminate half brother (pharaoh Akhenaten) to the absolute bewilderment of all concerned as he has given up the chance to be pharaoh himself due to these religious beliefs. I don't really think 1950's audiences appreciated such an attack on conventional religion and also emphasizing that the supposed early christianity portrayed is being championed by such a weak & effeminate character like Akhenaten. Or that this religious philosophy will be carried on by a courageous loser like Sinuhe.

The film also highlights the relationship between the main character Sinuhe & the pharaoh Akhenaten (it turns out that they are half brothers--from the same father but different mothers) that comes perilously close to a thinly disguised homosexual love situation. I cannot remember any other major Hollywood release before this or even 15 years after this featuring one man saying to another man "the others lied to me but I believe that you really love me". Of course the Sinuhe character and we the audience know that these two are half brothers so its just a case of brotherly love. But the disturbing thing for 1950's audiences was that the character of pharaoh (beautifully played by actor Michael Wilding who was best known as being one of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands) does not know this and comes across as a weak & effeminate ruler and, even though he's married to the famous Queen Nefertiti and has many children, could well have some sort of bisexual attraction to the Sinuhe character.

The other aspect is that there is repeated criticism by Sinuhe of just about every ruler & government that he has ever come across---especially in the elite priesthood's willingness to remove the pharaoh from power by poisoning him, replacing him with a strong & more traditional ruler & weeding out all of the pharaoh's supporters. This could be read as a veiled criticism of the American House of Representatives Unamerican Activities Committee that prevailed in USA from the late 1940's to the mid 1950's. In ancient Egypt not long after he was deposed Akhenaten's image and any reference to him were deleted from the public monuments & public records. It was as though he and his period in power had never existed.

Which probably makes it easier to understand why this film was not a great box office success even though it was championed as a Cinemascope successor to the enormously successful "The Robe" of a year earlier. Most reviewers have stated that Edmund Purdom who, whilst having an excellent speaking voice that suits the part, just doesn't have the necessary power and charisma to convince as the main character Sinuhe the Egyptian. It's even suggested that Marlon Brando (the first choice for the role who arrived for rehearsals on the first day & then left the production later that same day) would have made a better main character. I think that Marlon's first instincts about the story & the so called weakness of the main character he would play were correct as it didn't really suit his style & he was correct to leave the film before he got involved. Had he become involved it would have probably turned out something like the 1962 "Mutiny on the Bounty" which basically flopped at the box office due to Brando's characterization of Fletcher Christian & his off screen tantrums when he didn't get his own way on the film sending the film's cost way over budget. Whilst most Americans generally think the 1962 "Mutiny on the Bounty" is a good action adventure & Brando's performance is fair enough (the same opinion I hold) most British viewers hated his performance in that film & regarded his characterization of Fletcher Christian as ridiculous. Which basically ruined the whole film for them. And Brando was first choice as T.E. Lawrence in "Lawrence of Arabia" by producer Sam Spiegel but director David Lean soon over rode that decision by first casting Albert Finney and when he cancelled then casting Peter O'Toole in the lead role. Again Brando as T.E. Lawrence would have polarized opinion of the movie & probably alienated British audiences. Brando later appeared in producer Sam Speigel's "The Chase"(1966) which was a resounding flop. As far as I am concerned Edmund Purdom puts in a rather convincing performance as a thoughtful & sensitive man caught up in the vicious world of ancient politics. I don't see his character as weak so much as sensitive. Like Brando's role in "Mutiny on the Bounty" if you can accept his central performance then you'll probably like the movie. If you cannot then its an uphill climb to like this movie.

The same can be said about the role of the Babylonian lady of easy virtue Nefer as played by producer Darryl Zanuck's protege (and then secret mistress) Bella Darvi. Most reviewers think of her, like Purdom, as unconvincing & badly cast and even, unlike Purdom, hard to understand when she speaks. Again if you cannot accept her performance as convincing or even reasonable then the whole movie is usually ruined for you. Those who like this film usually accept the performances of Edmund Purdom & Bella Darvi as both convincing and acceptable. Those who don't like this movie usually quote the performances of these 2 actors as spoiling the whole movie for them.

The supporting cast is quite excellent with an incredibly beautiful and appealing Jean Simmons (then 22 years old), a surprisingly convincing & impressive Victor Mature, a suitably alluring & devious Gene Tierney, an appealing rascal role for Peter Ustinov (similar to his later Academy Award winning role as Batiatus in "Spartacus") and a surprisingly effective & moving role for Michael Wilding as the mystic pharaoh Akhenaten.

This film is not so much an historical epic as an historical costume drama as there is not all that much action apart from the lion hunting sequence at the film's beginning & the massacre of the Aton worshippers (or sun worshippers) at the end. And as for historical accuracy the studio spent 3 years in pre production on this film & made strenuous efforts to get everything as accurate as possible whilst still adapting the source material (Mika Waltari's 1945 best selling novel "The Egyptian"). Not long after this film had ceased production the costumes & props were sold to Cecile B. De Mille for his forthcoming production of the 1956 "The Ten Commandments" (probably sold to try and claw back some of the production costs). So obviously De Mille didn't think these costumes & props inaccurate. As far as the sets go, apart from the royal palace interiors (which are very convincing), most of the taverns & doctor's surgeries look like reused sets from "The Robe" and are not all that convincing. They all have that 20th Century Fox Cinemascope epic film indoor set look that attempted some accuracy but couldn't quite convince & that even "Cleopatra" with Elizabeth Taylor suffers from (they all tend to look like a mocked up room built in a movie studio). The same cannot be said for the outdoor sets which are quite magnificent and are totally convincing. Where the film (and the book it was based on) do go astray in historical accuracy is in the weaving of too many fictitious characters with actual historical figures & also imposing a conventional religious explanation onto these historical events.

The pharaoh Akhenaten, despite what the book & film speculate, was probably not an early christian prophet long before his time & archeological history shows us that he was not that weak & powerless when it came to enforcing his monotheism theory on his subjects. And the inaccurate description of Thebes as the location where these events occurred instead of Akhenaten's especially chosen capital of Amarna situated in the desert beside the Nile hundreds of miles from Thebes. But the biggest inaccuracy is the complete avoidance of the next pharaoh--probably the most famous pharaoh ever--the boy king Tutankamun or King Tut (either Akhenaten's son or his nephew--archeological science has proven that they were definitely related). Horemheb became pharaoh a few years later. These historical facts do tend to grate against acceptance of the film's storyline however there is enough in the film to over ride these inaccuracies.

Lastly, and by no means least, are the technical details of the film. 20th Century Fox used its first class talent on this film to showcase it as a worthy Cinemascope successor to the enormously successful "The Robe of a year earlier. Which meant it had to be a biblical epic or at least a biblically-themed historical costume drama with exquisite costumes and inspiring sets. Which it was. The set designers and costume designers excelled themselves on this film (apart from my concerns over certain interior sets). Both films cost an unprecedented $5 million dollars to make (approximately $55 million in today's terms) but whereas "The Robe" made $17.5 million (or $193 million in today's terms) in USA alone "The Egyptian" made only $4.25 million (or $47 million in today's terms) in USA which did not even cover production costs. Leon Shamroy (the cinematographer from "The Robe") was Fox's premier cinematographer & did an excellent job on the visuals of this film. Even better was the contribution of composer Bernard Herrman & later in the production Fox's premier film music composer Alfred Newman to the classic musical score of this film. This musical score takes a very good to excellent film (with some flaws) and transforms it into a semi classic film. Even without the music certain sequences are hauntingly beautiful such as the Aton worshipper's (or sunworshipper's) sequences and the seduction of Sinuhe by Nefer the Babylonian courtesan. But with this classic musical score used to enhance these sequences they become absolutely unforgettable. And this blue ray version finally does full justice to the sound quality (the original 4 track stereo sound in DTS 5.1) AND picture quality (original 2.55:1 aspect ratio, ultra sharpness and glowing colour) so that you can assess these qualities and make an accurate judgement for yourself of this semi classic film in a version as close to (if not better) than the original release version. The film's score is also available as a separate track so you can listen to the score only if you wish and appreciate its merits.

Definitely recommended. If you cannot afford the steep price of the blue ray version then the dvd version (while not quite as good) is not half bad either. These reviews relate solely to the blue ray and dvd versions of "The Egyptian" produced by Twilight Time via Screen Archives Entertainment.

It's in the Bag (1945)

Addendum 6/8/13: This new Blu-Ray reissue IS the preferred non-voiceover version, read on.

Where to start? First, there are two versions of this hysterical farce but one of the versions is severely hampered by Fred Allen's voice overs through many of the best comedy segments. The other, and I'm guessing, "original" version involves no voice overs and this version is an unmitigated classic for which we can give a big thank you to producer Jack Skirball.

It's in the Bag is one of the screwiest comedies ever. It's the story of Fred F. Floogle(Fred Allen)an unsuccessful flea circus exhibitor and his madcap family; devoted and wholly unsatisfied wife Eve(Binnie Barnes), soon-to-be-bride daughter Marion(Gloria Pope) and genius son Homer(Richard Tyler)who is given many of the best lines though there are zillions of funny lines and millions of gags in this one-of-a-kind romp. Exterminator(Robert Benchley)is determined to not let his son Perry Parker(William Terry) marry into such an inferior family as Fred's, that is until Fred's millionaire uncle dies leaving his entire fortune to his long lost nephew, or so everyone thinks. Everyone thinks it enough to extend Fred and his family whatever they wish and they're wishing the moon. But when Fred and Eve meet with his uncle's former business partners(headed up by John Carradine in a rare, intentionally comedic role)they find that there's "no money", only a set of chairs.(This is where Mel Brook's "Twelve Chairs" may have found it's basis or vice versa if the period piece is actually from that period.)Of course Fred sells the chairs only to later dicover there's a fortune and the name of his uncle's murderer hidden in one them and now they must be retrieved. Along the way we run into Don Ameche, Jack Benny, Rudy Vallee, William Bendix, Jerry Colonna, Sidney Toler and Victor Moore to name some of the bigger names but there are what seems to be hundreds of well known faces of comedic character actors in tons of riotous bits. This movie is a real hoot. If you're old enough to understand that phrase, then this movie might be for you.

As I've said in past reviews, the fact that this and Champagne for Caesar, Ball of Fire, The Male Animal, The Senator Was Indiscreet, Cold Turkey, The Loved One, A Slight Case of Murder and Larceny Inc. plus many, many more have not been restored and tranfered to DVD format IS A CRIME.

Oh, that's Joe.

There have been numerous attempts at fashioning movie vehicles for radio stars:most of them failed to work,or work consistently well,but It's In The Bag is something of an exception.Starring Fred Allen-who had a great face for radio-and featuring cameos from Jack Benny,Robert Benchley,Don Ameche,Rudy Valee,and William Bendix,this is a simple,plot-driven movie packed full with in-jokes and tried-and-tested routines.Mel Brooks would return to the source material a Russian short story for the 1970 movie The Twelve Chairs,but the pretentiousness of that version is missing here.If you like Benny(who is on fine form) and Allen(who is at his most appealing,or least unappealing,depending on your perspective)then It's In The Bag is well worth a look.

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It's a shame that only a chosen few REALLY KNOW who Fred Allen is. In the 1940's his popularity was that of names we still cite today Jack Benny, Abbott & Costello, etc.

But in his day Fred's radio program was incredibly popular, as well as his "fued" with Jack Benny. If you love old radio, or old time comedy you will enjoy IT'S IN THE BAG. Fred Allen was, as still is, one of the smartest writers of comedy there was even today great legends such as Mel Brooks and George Carlin cite his influence.

One drawback with the film is that to get all the jokes you will need to be familiar with "the age" when the film was released since some of Fred's jokes are dated (commentary about crowded theaters comes to mind), but some of the jokes are just as fresh today as they were 56 years ago (commentary on how relatives get in the picture, why do we need to watch credits, psychoanalists, etc.)

In some ways it's a very "da-da-ist" film -as in the vein of W.C. Fields' INTERNATIONAL HOUSE. You can read the film synopsis above so I won't waste time with that I'll just say, see it for an enjoyable, smart comedy.

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this is a funny movie, though under-rated. this and what i call the companion movie called "It's a Joke, Son!" starring Kenny Delmar as 'Senator Claghorne' are must-have films for Fred Allen fans (even though Fred isn't in the second film with Delmar, it's based on a character created by Fred all the same.) On this "It's in the Bag" film, the one and only Fred Allen stars as Fred Floogle, a flea circus showman. The film is about a guy who has a wealthy relative who passes away. Fred follows human nature and starts buying expensive things and puts money on stocks. Fred thinks he's inherited his uncle's $12 million fortune but all he gets is 12 chairs after the will is read. angry, Fred has his son sell the chairs. It's only later that a vinyl record surfaces with Fred's uncle instructing him to claim the $300,000 he hid in one of the chairs! Too late...they've been sold to countless people all across town. this causes Fred to go on a wild goose chase tracking down the 12 chairs. This is where the film starts to pick up speed. An array of '40s radio stars make cameo appearances: Rudy Vallee, Don Ameche, William Bendix, and the immortal Jack Benny. Bendix spoofs his "tough-guy" build by being a cowardly leader of a gang of muggers. Ameche and Vallee hit the stage in a night-club but the bass singer is missing. Fred joins them on stage as an imposter who sings a terrible bass section {by this time in the film he's running from the police because they think Fred is working for the Bendix Gang!}. Along the way Fred encounters Mrs. Nussbaum (Minerva Pious, the same woman who played that character on Fred's radio programs) in an eerie segment that allows the viewer to see what "Allen's Alley" would've looked like had Fred went into TV. Jack Benny's scene is the stand-out of course. Cheap jokes are here...Fred acts like he's the president of a Jack Benny Fan Club and needs an item for display. Fred, of course, wants the chair that Nussbaum sold Jack. an assortment of sight-gags follow (including a cash register inside his living room and wax paper to wrap the chair in!). all the while he's being chased by a detective trying to prove that Fred is in ca-hoots with the Bendix gang. Walter Tetley has a memorable role as an elevator operator. The "immediate seating" gag is hilarious as well. Jerry Colonna, the wide mustache maniac side-kick of Bob Hope, has a zany appearance as a psychiatrist who slaps himself across the face numerous time thinking a tsetse fly is swarming his face! Victor Moore plays the campy Chef and others making cameos are John Carradine, Robert Benchley, and Binnie Barnes. Fred finally tracks down the chair with the money but reality sets in...and you'll never believe what happens next...the film is an overall lesson in greed and irrational behavior. Fred Allen was a radio comedian from 1932-1949. He's famous for his topical humor, battles over censorship, battles with network executives, the "Allen's Alley" routine that ran from 1945-1949, and his false feud with Jack Benny. Allen wrote all of the material that made it to the air...he employed several writers but they served as leg-men and joke finders, nothing more. It's said that Allen read up to 100 newspapers for material. His leg-men also scoured the headlines and back-pages of newspapers for potential material. Fred Allen hated TV...we don't really know why but some have speculated that Fred didn't have a face or a delivery for TV. to see for myself I taped a TV game show Fred hosted...i did this on a cassette and i played it back and i was amazed to hear how great it SOUNDED but it didn't feel so great WATCHING it! Due to Allen's inability to make it on TV with a major hit, the TV generation doesn't know him at all. In 1954 Allen headed to the fourth chair on the panel of "What's My Line?". Ironically, Fred died in 1956 of a heart attack amidst his popular run as a panelist on "What's My Line?"...a TV show of all things!! But, "It's In The Bag" might well be the greatest thing to showcase Fred, visually, aside from his "What's My Line?" years.

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DO NOT BE Fooled!!!! The original Fred Allen movie 'It's In the Bag', had Fred 'narrating' through the movie. This has been entirely cut out The worst cut is the Quartet of Rudy Vallee, Don Amache, Fred Allen & Victor Moore. It is only HALF there. The original had Fred narrating about "this group breaks windows..."

I have tried to get an original uncut but it is apparently no longer available.

DO NOT THINK YOU ARE GETTING THE ORIGINAL MOVIE...

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Transformers / Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Two-Movie Mega Collection) (2009)

This is a great, more financially viable way to get the Transformers series. Buy this set, as it comes with the special features discs for both movies. THE SET WITH ALL THREE MOVIES DOES NOT INCLUDE DISC 2's!

Excellent CGI with a lot of actions. This box set is really convenient to get 2-in-one box. Great value (cheaper than buying individually -at the time). Overall both movies are A+

Buy Transformers / Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Two-Movie Mega Collection) (2009) Now

I love the Transformers and would recommend anyone looking to see the two movies to get this product. It is a must see package.

Read Best Reviews of Transformers / Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Two-Movie Mega Collection) (2009) Here

I bought this set at WalMart then went back the next day to get the 3rd movie. This set comes with 2 of the best editions of the first 2 films. Excellent movies backed up by great special features. Don't listen to the critics or the haters. The CG animations are perfect. Acting and entertainment is top notch. The only down side is the story is pretty generic. "The Chosen One" story can only be used So many times without becoming pointless. But these movies are PURE entertainment and worth any collection, unless your one of those nit picky people who don't appreciate all forms of film. Movies are not meant to be done a certain way, if they were then they would have 1 group of people making all the movies in the world.

5 Star Product, and overall 5 star movies (The First one is good enough to cancel out the 2nd's 4 star rating.)

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Being a long-time fan of the Transformers franchise (I was a little kid when it first debuted; so I grew up with all variations of Transformers over the years), I would have to say that these are really fun and enjoyable live-action movies. As far as the interpretation of the whole Transformers "essence"... well, I think the first movie did a great job of capturing the essential fundamental elements that made the cartoon a huge success. The second movie, though, was made with a decent effort but ultimately fell short of my expectations as it did with many, many other fans and movie-goers.

Anyway, I don't want to go into too much detail about the movies themselves (most of you have already seen it I'm sure). The blu-ray versions are really well done, in my opinion. Having seen this on a 52in Sony Bravia HDTV and a 55in Viera the video quality is quite amazing. I own the Sony and my friend has the Viera; both movies appeared very clear, crisp, and the color was just beautiful (but then again, my friend and I spent hours researching optimum HDTV/blu-ray settings so that we would get the best picture quality). As well, both discs come packed with special features; and I'm always interested in the 'Making of...' and deleted scenes, outtakes, things like that. I truly enjoyed the 'behind the scenes' features about making the movies, special effects, and especially how they addressed the transformations.

Overall I would definitely recommend adding this set to your collection, whether or not you're a die-hard Transformers fan. If anything, they are really enjoyable action movies with real-life transforming robots beating the crap out of each other. =P

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A Star Is Born (Blu-ray Book Packaging) (2010)

Many films have a convoluted history, but few so much as A STAR IS BORN. The basic story of a famous Hollywood alcoholic who promotes the career of an unknown--only to see her star rise as his falls--was based on the lives of a number of silent-era figures and first filmed in 1932 as WHAT PRICE HOLLYWOOD? After a number of plot changes, the story reemerged in 1937 as A STAR IS BORN starring Janet Gaynor and Frederic March. Then, in the 1940s, A STAR IS BORN was recycled into a radio play--and the leading lady was Judy Garland.

Garland's private life was difficult, and in 1950 she made a highly publicized suicide attempt. When she proved unable to recover herself quickly, she was fired by MGM amid much negative publicity, and it was assumed her career was over. But within a few years Garland reemerged as a powerful concert performer, and momentum began to build toward a screen comeback. Garland, who recalled her radio presentation with fondness, suggested A STAR IS BORN.

The production was plagued with problems. A number of leading actors turned down the male lead before James Mason accepted. A considerable portion of the film was shot when Warner Brothers decided to present it in Cinemascope, and this entailed scrapping all previous footage reshooting from scratch. Garland herself proved typically highstrung, and her temperament led to numerous delays. The budget ran out of control, and by the time A STAR IS BORN arrived on the screen it had become the single most expensive film made up to that time.

The film's opening seemed to justify all the difficulty and expense. Critics were positive and the public was eager. But Warner Brothers remained concerned about the film's length--and although director George Cukor offered to recut the film gratis, the studio hacked it apart. It was soon apparent that critics and audiences alike were considerably less enthusiastic about the edited version, and the film ended its theatrical release with a whimper.

During the decades that followed the film gained a reputation as a mutilated masterpiece. A lackluster 1970s remake fueled interest in a restoration, but the missing footage could not be relocated. In 1983, however, the full, unedited soundtrack and many of the missing scenes were rediscovered. In working with the film, conservators pioneered the use of still photography to fill in the still-missing scenes, a technique that would be used to restore such classics as GREED, METROPOLIS, and LOST HORIZON. And upon release, A STAR IS BORN was once again hailed as a masterpiece.

Stylistically, A STAR IS BORN is an aggressive film filled with bright colors, bombastic music, and larger than life performances. As such, it seems typical of "blockbuster" films of the 1950s and 1960s. But A STAR IS BORN uses this "bigness" to a considerably different end than its counterparts: rather than containing garish display for its own sake, it contains it for thematic purpose.

The theme developed by writer Moss Hart and director Cukor (who considered this his masterpiece) is one of the various levels of artificiality intrinsic to show business, and differences between degrees of artificiality are carefully drawn in scene after scene. The audience enjoys a show--never knowing that the star is blind drunk. The set crew prepares to film an upbeat musical number--never aware that the leading lady is having hysterics in her dressing room. A wife watches a private screening of a film--not realizing that her husband is being quietly fired in an adjoining room.

The performances that drive A STAR IS BORN are perfectly in line with the film's juxtaposition of reality and artifice. Garland offers a justly famous bravado performance in broad strokes and with an undercurrent of artifice that becomes increasingly noticeable as the film builds, underscoring her gradual immersion in and consumption by the film industry. Mason, in equally brilliant fashion, contrasts her with a performance that becomes painfully realistic as the film progresses. The dissonance created is quite startling: it is easy to see why the two characters attract each other, but it is also easy to forecast how they will self-destruct.

Although musical numbers abound, A STAR IS BORN is not typical of the genre, for the music does not form the primary structure of the film. Still, like most other elements in the film, the songs feed into the film's themes--and always in the most ironic way possible. Near the film's conclusion, Maine ask Vicki to sing for him while he, unbeknownst to her, prepares for suicide. The song she sings is "A New World." And indeed after Maine's death it will be all of that, a world in which unreality will go unchecked and Vicki will win applause by introducing herself as "Mrs. Norman Maine," turning her private grief into box office salvation.

A STAR IS BORN is profoundly bitter film that for all its brashness operates in a remarkably subtle way to make a very dark statement about Hollywood fame: the entertainment we enjoy on screen is an illusion with a price, and that price is a confusion of reality and fantasy played out with stakes of life and death. The DVD offers the film in its restored state, in Cinemascope, and with television broadcast footage of the Los Angeles premiere. If you're serious about film, this is a must-own, must-see.

--GFT (Amazon.com Reviewer)--

The film A STAR IS BORN, the 1954 Judy Garland musical for Warner Bros., has been through nearly as many trials and tribulations as any real-life movie-star wannabe to maintain its reputation and realism. The director--George Cukor's--love/hate letter to the joys and sorrows of Hollywood stardom came in just over three hours long--181 minutes. In an ironic affirmation of the film's recognition that "the lush days are over" for Hollywood, the studio cut the actual release print down to 154 minutes so that theater owners could squeeze in one extra screening per evening. That is the only version we had between 1954 and 1983, and any revivals, cinematheque offerings or TV broadcasts--quite enough to sustain the cult of the movie and Judy Garland's bravura performance as a Hollywood star married to an alcoholic has-been--sprang from that truncated release.

In 1983, a partially restored, 170-minute-long version of A STAR IS BORN hit first-run movie screens after long and loving archival and editorial struggle. It was a matter of using anything available to make up for the scenes Warner Bros. had hacked out--stills, amateur home movies made from the set, audio tracks--anything. Most significantly, the restoration reinstituted the entire portion of the movie which appear in the DVD as all of Chapters 14, 15 and 16 in which Garland's character takes a long-shot chance at an acting career; but although that enhanced plot-line was reintegrated into the movie, the static and museum-like restoration was in many ways more admirable than lovable. Still, it gets across the idea that Judy Garland's character--singer Esther Blodgett--faced her own trials and tribulations on the way to becoming "Vicki Lester" the film star.

The current 1999 DVD goes the 1983 theatrical release two better: it incorporates even more material previously thought lost--in particular audio--and the newer computer technology was used for a thorough digital "scrub" of the already handsome restoration. Previous reviewers are right: the restored sequences can still be a bit off-putting, but the DVD now for sale at 176 minutes is a noticeable improvement over the 1983 release and probably the closest we'll ever get to Cukor's original masterpiece. Is the color perfect? No, 1954 Technicolor was still garish and candy-colored; interestingly, the scenes filmed outdoors at night come across as more realistic than some of the interiors, and the character's facial tones look more realistic. Is the sound perfect? It's a good 5.1 multitrack engineering that sounded good on my budget-level home theater, and it certainly holds better aural technology than was available in 1950s movie houses.

A STAR IS BORN is very much a movie about movies, a "backstage" musical something like CABARET where the singing and dancing occur as staged performances or otherwise make sense as something the screen characters would naturally do. (As opposed to the more impressionistic, SINGIN' IN THE RAIN type of movie where characters break character and burst into song artificially.) Judy belts Harold Arlen and Ira Gershwin's unforgettable "The Man That Got Away" in an after-hours club, an impromptu performance later described by eavesdropping leading man Norman Maine (James Mason) as "singing just for yourself and 'the boys in the band.'" (And with those last five words, a play was born.)

The performance-within-a-performance element that any backstage music requires come from two indelible production numbers from Vicki Lester's films. "Born in a Trunk" is by far the better known but the restoration added the endearing "Lose That Long Face," in which another unsinkable Vicki character sings a message of undying optimism as she tap-dances and flat-foots through studio-set rainy streets (Hmm, wonder where they got that idea?)

But most of Garland's performances are in more intimate venues. After rising starlet Vicki Lester becomes Mrs. Norman Maine, her husband puts her to use as "my own little jukebox" as she sings hit songs from her movies. In a particularly charming sequence, Garland's character plays homage to--and gently spoofs--the Fifties penchant for grandiose fantasy production numbers by acting out the round-the-world extravaganza ("Somewhere There's) A Someone At Last" to a background record, using what's available in the living room to mimic props and delighting the sophisticated Mason. The message is clear: it's the star, not the production values, that matter most.

Indeed, Judy Garland IS the star who makes this movie; her fictional Vicki Lester comes alive when fused with elements of Garland's own poignant and turbulent life as an all-too-visible film personality. In this movie her performances--as actor and song stylist--were never better; volumes of praise have been written to which I happily agree. But those who surround "Vicki Lester" are a key component of the film's success, too: James Mason's "Norman Maine" confronts his wife's tendency to overdramatize with a subtle performance as the self-deprecating, self-loathing alcoholic who increasingly becomes the object of his wife's charity. Jack Carson the perennial WB "heavy" of the postwar years (recall him from "Mildred Pierce" and "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof") is in full force as Matt Libby, the gladhanding and cynical studio publicist. Charles Bickford, perhaps best remembered today as father to Lee Remick's character in "The Days of Wine and Roses," adds humanity to the thankless role of the authoritarian film-studio owner Oliver Niles. And Tom Noonan is perfect as the buddy to impart real-life wisdom to "Mrs. Norman Maine."

People who love Judy Garland certainly should go for this improved and more watchable classic, even if they already have a prior version at home. I think lovers of musicals in general will agree that A STAR IS BORN deserves a place among the tip-top musicals of the 1950s, whether or not they are satisfied with the cardboardish ersatz for Chapters 14-16. Just hop over those with your DVD remote and find out what Warner Bros. left after its butchering! A great film at a great price; go for it.

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Judy Garland, arguably the greatest female pop singer of the Twentieth Century, gives the performance of a lifetime in this 1954 musical remake of the 1937 dramatic film of the same name (also available on DVD in a superb transfer). This movie was perceived as Garland's comeback vehicle since she had not made a film for four years prior and she certainly delivers the goods both dramatically and vocally. Her singing here is in total service of the music rather than the audience, with none of the over the top indulgences evident in her stage appearances. The end result is mesmerizing. Garland's standout rendition of "The Man That Got Away" deserves special mention since it fully lives up to its hype as one of the greatest vocal performances of all time.

James Mason matches Garland every step of the way and in some areas surpasses her in the role of her alcoholic husband whose star is waning as hers is rising. In fact, the entire cast, including Charles Bickford, Jack Carson and Tommy Noonan give excellent performances. Director George Cukor seems to have known just when to reign in Garland and exactly when to let her go and do what she does best. This is especially evident in the "Born In A Trunk" musical number. Cukor also shows a flair for getting the best out of the then new wide screen CinemaScope process. His framing of the scenes has an intimacy appropriate to the story but seems revolutionary for a wide screen picture even today. This DVD showcases the original 2.55: 1 aspect ratio in which A Star Is Born was shown for its initial theatrical presentation and a newly mixed soundtrack preserves the discrete multi-channel stereophonic sound as well. In fact, this DVD looks and sounds phenomenally good considering that this movie will be 50 years old in about 4 years.

Worth the price of the disc alone is the treasure trove of supplementary material, which includes vintage newsreels, a kinescope of live TV coverage of the Hollywood premiere and no less than four alternate takes of "The Man That Got Away."

Judy Garland never was able to equal or top her work on A Star Is Born. On the other hand, no one else has or could either because she was a one of a kind entertainer that only comes around perhaps once in a millennium.

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ENHANCED CONTENT

A Star is Born (1954) 2-Disc Deluxe Special Edition DVD Enhanced Content:

Introduction: Run time 3:01

The Man That Got Away Pink Dress: Run time 5:11 Additional Take

The Man that Got Away Brown Dress #1: Run time 4:49 Additional Take

The Man that Got Away Brown Dress #2: Run time 4:24 Additional Take

The Man that Got Away Brown Dress #3: Run time 4:00 Additional Take

The Man That Got Away Brown Dress #4: Run time 4:00 Additional Take

Here's What I'm here For Alternate Take: Run time 2:36 Additional Take

Lose That Long Face Alternate Take: Run time 4:55 Additional Take

Trinidad Coconut Oil Shampoo Alternate Take: Run time 1:24 Additional Take

When My Sugar Walks Down the Street Outtake: Run time 0:58 Additional Take

Suicide Scene Alternate Take: Run time 2:15 Additional Take

Film Effects Reel: Run time 0:54

A Report by Jack L. Warner: Run time 6:24 Vintage Featurette

Huge Premiere Hails 'A Star is Born' Newsreel Montage: Run time 7:49 Vintage Featurette

'A Star is Born' Premiere in Cinemascope: Run time 2:05

Pantages Premiere TV Special: Run time 29:30 Vintage Featurette

A Star is Bored (1956 WB Cartoon): Run time 7:00

A Star is Born (1937): Run time 2:46 Trailer

A Star is Born (1954): Run time 3:52 Trailer

A Star is Born (1976): Run time 3:46 Trailer

Audio Vault Oliver on the Phone with the Director Discussing Norman Outtakes: Run time 2:00 Audio Only

Audio Vault Norman and Esther on the Roof of the Hotel Lancaster Outtakes: Run time 2:00 Audio Only

Audio Vault 12/28/1942 Lux Radio Theater Broadcast with Judy Garland and Walter Pidgeon: Run time 60:00 Audio Only

Audio Vault Judy Garland Radio Interview: Run time 4:00 Audio Only

Audio Vault Born in a Trunk: Run time 9:05 Audio Only

Audio Vault Someone At Last Rehearsal: Run time 10:34 Audio Only

Audio Vault Someone At Last: Run time 7:16 Audio Only

Audio Vault My Melancholy Baby: Run time 7:06 Audio Only

Audio Vault Black Bottom: Run time 1:48 Audio Only

Audio Vault Swanee: Run time 4:57 Audio Only

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I have neither a Blu-ray player nor an HD TV so there was no reason to get the Blu-ray of this release. On my standard def TV the image is not as sharp and crisp as other recent Warner restorations such as My Fair Lady and Wizard of Oz. But, I've learned through some research that this is because ASIB was filmed in single-strip Technicolor and it is impossible to sharpen the image. Actually the print does look a bit cleaner than the old VHS version of the reconstructed film. Just don't expect sharpness throughout. The musical numbers look the best.

Remember that almost 30 minutes of the film was cut after its theatrical release and it was through the efforts of Ron Haver who, in 1984, was able to find stills to fill in where soundtrack sections were located. That is what this version is and it really fleshes out the story. (And a great story it is!). And it is wide screen, not pan and scan.

What makes this version "deluxe" is the additional two hours of new supplemental material. These are all on the second disc which is NOT Blu-ray even in the Blu-ray set. Two hours are the same material as on the last release. The new material includes additional versions of some songs with different costumes and a lot of audio-only bonuses. The disc containing the feature film is double sided with half on each side.

You can see all the details of the bonuses in another "review" which copied the info from the press release.

As far as acting goes, James Mason is amazing and perfect for the part. Garland sings her heart out and this is, of course, a must for Judy fans... many of who can quote her lines from the film from memory.

Some day I'm sure Warner will issue the "Ultimate Edition" of ASIB but, sadly this is the best it is going to look on your TV. This is why film preservation is so important!

If you've not seen this film, or haven't seen it in years, watch it.. It will draw you in and show you why Garland and Mason were stars. This is a true Hollywood classic.

Steve Ramm

"Anything Phonographic"

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Monamour (2-Disc Special Edition) (2005)

Tinto Brass' latest US release, 'Monamour', is actually from 2005 (why does it take so long for us to get our sexploitation kicks stateside?), starring Anna Jimskaia, and is a sexual homage to the female form, like many of his films, this time even more so, and Anna is an even greater exhibitionist than any of his other actresses, bless her heart.

The story concerns itself with a newly married couple, Marta and Dario, whose love life seems to have stagnated since they got married only six months ago. Marta chronicles the sordid details in her diary, and Dario is too busy with his work to notice her sexual drifting. While away at a publisher's convention in the beautiful city of Mantua with her husband, Marta meets a Frenchman while looking at ancient frescos in a museum, and he pursues her aggressively and sexually right there. Soon, her adultery, born out of neglect, boredom and frustration, is in full swing, and she's encouraged by a female friend of hers who's also at the convention with her younger lover.

The two women attend a day spa and trade tales of their escapades while being pampered by two Eurovixens employed at the spa, conjuring up all kinds of fantasies for us to ponder over as the women are oiled-up and erotically massaged as though being devoured by their masseuses. Marta is now having sexual dreams and fantasies in addition to her carnal activities, engaging in a variety of increasingly perverse pleasures with Leon, the French lover, and naturally, hubbie Dario finds the diary she explicitly details her affairs in. Now things go from steaming hot to boiling over...it's one of those times when being a perv is a truly wonderful thing.

These are women, not girls, and they flaunt their sexuality proudly, libidinous creatures who have not just been around the block a few times, but have frequented the sewers as well. They are lewd, sometimes vulgar, their appetites voracious and lusts almost limitless. Looking slutty, talking dirty, behaving salaciously what's not to love? Hang on a second, I'm getting weepy... OK, I'm back.

There's nary a 30 second frame within the film when we don't have our heads thrust into the breasts, asses, legs, back or nether regions of some delectable Eurovixen's form this is a voyeur's pastry buffet table, a Lazy Susan of rotating sexual smorgasbords that's guaranteed to delight the demented appetites of undying degenerates everywhere. Tinto Brass knows how to let the camera linger over a woman's form the way Salvador Dali knew surrealism, the way Einstein knew equations, the way Monet knew waterlillies. Uncensored, unflinching, uncut, unyielding, this flick is mandatory viewing for all men who appreciate the female anatomy more than a night of ESPN. Do your self a flavor and savor the juices of 'MonAmour'.

Tinto Brass' latest US release, 'Monamour', is actually from 2005 (why does it take so long for us to get our sexploitation kicks stateside?), starring Anna Jimskaia, and is a sexual homage to the female form, like many of his films, this time even more so, and Anna is an even greater exhibitionist than any of his other actresses, bless her heart.

The story concerns itself with a newly married couple, Marta and Dario, whose love life seems to have stagnated since they got married only six months ago. Marta chronicles the sordid details in her diary, and Dario is too busy with his work to notice her sexual drifting. While away at a publisher's convention in the beautiful city of Mantua with her husband, Marta meets a Frenchman while looking at ancient frescos in a museum, and he pursues her aggressively and sexually right there. Soon, her adultery, born out of neglect, boredom and frustration, is in full swing, and she's encouraged by a female friend of hers who's also at the convention with her younger lover.

The two women attend a day spa and trade tales of their escapades while being pampered by two Eurovixens employed at the spa, conjuring up all kinds of fantasies for us to ponder over as the women are oiled-up and erotically massaged as though being devoured by their masseuses. Marta is now having sexual dreams and fantasies in addition to her carnal activities, engaging in a variety of increasingly perverse pleasures with Leon, the French lover, and naturally, hubbie Dario finds the diary she explicitly details her affairs in. Now things go from steaming hot to boiling over...it's one of those times when being a perv is a truly wonderful thing.

These are women, not girls, and they flaunt their sexuality proudly, libidinous creatures who have not just been around the block a few times, but have frequented the sewers as well. They are lewd, sometimes vulgar, their appetites voracious and lusts almost limitless. Looking slutty, talking dirty, behaving salaciously what's not to love? Hang on a second, I'm getting weepy... OK, I'm back.

There's nary a 30 second frame within the film when we don't have our heads thrust into the breasts, asses, legs, back or nether regions of some delectable Eurovixen's form this is a voyeur's pastry buffet table, a Lazy Susan of rotating sexual smorgasbords that's guaranteed to delight the demented appetites of undying degenerates everywhere. Tinto Brass knows how to let the camera linger over a woman's form the way Salvador Dali knew surrealism, the way Einstein knew equations, the way Monet knew waterlillies. Uncensored, unflinching, uncut, unyielding, this flick is mandatory viewing for all men who appreciate the female anatomy more than a night of ESPN. Do your self a flavor and savor the juices of 'MonAmour'.

The second disc contains the short film 'Kick the Cock' starring Angelita Franco from 2008 (hence the re-release) it's short, but a keeper, and so is she. The 'Spanish Dance' sequence is for viral voyeurs worldwide, and made me want to visit Spain before I die actually, waaay before then. There are two 'making of' featurettes worth a watch also, plus trailers for his other Cult Epic films, but the second disc is the dessert, the real meal here is 'Monamour', IMHO, which truthfully, isn't that humble. Deserving a permanent place in your arthouse exploitation collection for certain. Thank Tinto for having the Brass balls to make these flicks...

Buy Monamour (2-Disc Special Edition) (2005) Now

Tinto Brass (who, I think, has two too many letters in his last name), as he does in all of his films, really just made a feature-length fetish picture here. And there are positives and negatives to that. Here are the only things that keep this from being a five-star production:

1. Body hair. The staggeringly-hot Anna Jimskaia (seriously, one of the hottest women I've ever seen on screen...and I've seen A LOT of them) shaves her legs. Why the heck doesn't she shave under her arms?

2. Way too many scenes on toilets. Actually, one is too many if you asked me, and we get no fewer than six in this movie. Again, obviously a Brass fetish.

3. There's a VERY well-endowed chick in one scene in a restaurant and we never get to see any more of her. Highly disappointing because she's a scene-stealer.

Jimskaia obviously is the big seller here, and she NEVER is fully-clothed in this movie...seriously, not a single time. She's not always fully-nude but she never is fully-clothed either. WOW what a fantastic all-natural body, and she shakes and bounces and gyrates through the entire duration. Now if she'll just groom a little more and stay off of the toilet...

Read Best Reviews of Monamour (2-Disc Special Edition) (2005) Here

From the reveiws I expected it to be very sexy & arousing. It wasn't much of either. It was very boring. It got a two because of the ample nudity. Nothing else of note to say about this movie other than to say when they do an english version of an italian movie it should should not be cut. I think brass thinks americans would not like the full italian version so he does a toned down english version which takes away from the movies. Do not buy english versions of italian movies.

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Judge William Lee, DVD Verdict-Monamour doesn't have the most original storyline ever, but the audience for this film genre can do without the distraction of dense exposition and complex plot twists. Tinto Brass is exceptionally skilled at making his brand of sex romp and this film is a fine example. The movie's brisk pace makes the rather predictable story go by effortlessly. Plot points and story beats are observed long enough to serve their purpose and we're quickly onto another locale or scene. Each new scene is another chance to observe our beautiful heroine in another barely-there costume. If Brass knows how to keep the story details short and to the point, he also knows how to keep the sex scenes concise and fresh. Where lesser directors run their actors through a tiresome rotation of positions in an effort to make such scenes pay off, Brass is able to establish a slightly different mood for each scene and he's comfortable ending the scene before it runs out of steam.

The art direction is so detailed and deliberate that Monamour looks like the most lavish erotic film ever made but that's typical of the quality of Brass's films. The movie uses some impressive locations, interior sets have a dreamy elegance, backgrounds are filled with extras, and the lighting is as good as any first-rate mainstream production. Mirrors play a large part in the set decoration, which not only act as a playful visual motif, they allow cinematographer Andrea Doria to capture some very interesting compositions.

The accomplished cinematography is well represented by the excellent HD transfer of this Blu-ray disc. The 1080p, AVC-encoded image is clean and sharp. Surface textures are nicely rendered in close-ups and detail is retained in the gentle shadows. A handful of darker shots exhibit some video grain in the blacks but these few instances are not distracting. The 5.1 surround audio with Italian dialogue is a good, standard sound mix. The 2.0 stereo option is also fine, the main difference is the dialogue gets a slight boost. The English language dub, mixed in stereo, is a typical lazy translation featuring amateurish voice work and is the least of the audio options.

Extras for Monamour are limited to a trailer and a making-of featurette running about 16 minutes. In the featurette, you see Brass at work with the actors and get to hear his very precise instructions when it comes to filming the sex scenes. It looks like the actors and crew are having a lot of fun and, not surprisingly, Jimskaia describes herself as an exhibitionist.

On the second disc of this set is Tinto Brass's 2008 short film Kick the Cock (The New Maid). Brass fills roles on both sides of the camera, playing a dirty old man on screen. His character smokes a cigar while watching a maid wearing a fetish outfit cook and clean in his kitchen. At a running time of 16 minutes, this piece feels too long for this simple premise, but those who are into this scenario might argue it's not long enough. Andrea Doria is the cinematographer again and every shot seems thoughtfully composed. My only minor complaint is the flashback sequence, which is distinguished by overexposing the exterior backgrounds. While the light level still works for the subjects, I just found this visual trick to be a little harsh on the eyes. Otherwise, the 1.78:1 picture, also presented in 1080p/AVC, looks excellent.

The short film is accompanied by some more extras. Some poor location audio recording mars the making-of featurette but it's an interesting look at the crew at work. Actress/burlesque artist Angelita Franco speaks a bit on how she conceived the idea for the short film. "Spanish Dance by Angelita Franco" is footage from a burlesque strip tease performed in a club. "Comic Strip by Franco Saudelli" observes Franco modeling in a bondage scenario for an artist. There is footage of Tinto Brass at the 2008 Venice Film Festival and a teaser for the short film.

-Full review at

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Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within Region (2007)

'Final Fantasy' is a computer game that has gone through countless versions and editions. Taken as a whole, this mythos is probably one of the best know games in its genre. It is clear from the beginning of this film that Sony and Hironbu Sakaguchi (producer, director, and writer) were intent on topping an already brilliant history of graphic accomplishments. In a sense, 'The Spirits Within' represents a piece of history in the making. It is the first film that presents a startling approximation of life using only automation.

The plot is simple. An asteroid falling to earth carries within it a host of phantom creatures that seem hell bent on destroying earthly life. Civilization has been reduced to living in shielded enclaves, and it is only a matter of time before the planet becomes a haunted wasteland. Aki Ross and her mentor, Dr. Sid, are working on the creation of a neutralizing 'wave' based on the eight basic phantom life forms. General Hein does not trust Dr. Sid's theories about a Gaia, or planetary spirit, and wants to use a huge orbital laser cannon to destroy the original meteor, possible destroying the earth in the process. The conflict between these points of view and their shattering effects on the planet are the meat of the film.

Captain Gray Edwards, once Aki's lover, crystallizes this struggle between the material world of violent reaction and the spiritual world of growth and synthesis. The film plays a bit like an evolved 'Starship Troopers.' In many ways, it presents the same visual image, and deals with the same issues. The problem for the director and the viewer is to get past the magnificent graphic work to experience the abiding spiritual faith that is its meaning. Ironically, the film itself is a metaphor for the issues it expresses.

It is almost futile to discuss the film's animation and design. They are so far above what we are used to that the required superlatives sound trite. In essence, the animation staff set out to create something that is even more real than life, and to a great extent, they have succeeded. This hyperrealism, combined with an almost ballet like feeling of choreography create a sense of moment that makes this seem far more than an action film. The overall animation is carefully balanced so as to keep the focus on the characters. Even so, this film has such a sensory effect that the viewer is tempted to forget the plot and simply observe the screen.

The primary DVD provides the film and a whole set of commentaries (directing crew, animation and staging, composer, and production staff), plus the usual trailers, etc. In the special edition, a second disk adds an extensive 'Making of...' segment, the entire screenplay and some analysis of character, vehicle, and prop design. Technically, this is an important film, despite its simplistic plot and characters. For the first time, the definition of what is acting and what is animation is being challenged in a thought provoking fashion.

There have been many reviews about this movie that have ranged from excellent to shoddy, but mine will fall in the middle for a couple of reasons I will get to. I'll tell you what I found cool and what I found to be lacking. First off, I saw this movie in a digital projection theater. The colors were mind-blowing to say the least. I was constantly losing track of the story because I couldn't take my focus off the spectacular animation. The animation is so rich and textured...let's just say that you have never seen anything like it-real or fabricated. It truly is amazing. The voice casting is perfect. No slackers anywhere. The idea for the story is very innovative, not just some traditional sci-fi retread. But (and there always is a but), the actual dialogue and character development are lacking. Baldwin sometimes seems like a romantic distraction for Ming Na. Is Woods' character supposed to be a sympathetic bad guy because he talks about his family before he commits his bad deeds? Come on, I know 13-year-olds who don't fall for that. The question I was left with was: "Why invest all this money in voice talent, if you give them nothing to work with?" It's a testament to the actors that they were able to pull so much out of the dialogue considering what they had to work with. I don't want to give too much of the plot away, so I won't say anything else about it. ...I enjoyed all the characters for the most part, but I wish there was more to enjoy. I know sometimes that character development is lost because the studios want to get to the next big action event, but when people don't have anything invested in the characters, it just becomes a lot noise. It's too bad because, like I said, there was plenty of sources to draw upon.

Bottom line: The best animation to date, but sorely lacking character and plot development.

Buy Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within Region (2007) Now

One of the best computer generated films I have ever seen. Final Fantasy the Spirits Within was a joy to watch.

It was exciting, funny, poignant, exciting, romantic, joyful, future hopeful and totally mesmerising from start to finish.

With great actors voicing the animated heroes, we are treated to a state of the art adventure in which earth has been decimated by alien phantoms and the only hope for the survival of the human race are eight earth bound energy-spirits that can stop what only be described as Armageddon.

The exquisite Dr Aki Ross along with cynical but mostly good hearted Captain Edwards and his band of disparate marines set out to find these spirits before the megalomaniac General Hein can ruin any chance Earth has for survival.

The graphics are absolutely stunning, the animated characters look so life like you find yourself doing a double take all the time. Aki Ross is especially life like and Captain Edwards positively smoulders on screen but then his character is voiced over by the sexy Alec Baldwin who can still make any red blood female go weak at the knees!

The ending is superb as well as being heart breaking; no one can forget the scene when Captain Edwards lays down his life for the woman he loves and not just to save the world. Romance at its best in my opinion, animated or not!

I also just love the combining of philosophy, nature, science and technology together and the musical score gets a ten out of ten too.

I wish I could have seen this film on the big screen but I only got to see it when it came out on DVD.

A much underrated, under appreciated film that is yet again far too intelligent for your average moronic movie goer.

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This was one of the best films I have seen in along time. The computer animation is breathtaking, and shows you that it can only get better. The story is a wonderful combination of eastern and western philosophies. This movie never dragged and had a great soundtrack.

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I'll keep this short. Have you ever cried because a movie you loved was hated or ignored by everyone else? And that movie was obviously a work of art that took teams of artists years to create?

Well, that's how I felt when "Final Fantasy TSW" came out and died within a couple of weeks. I went to the premiere of this fine film. The theater was half-empty. I went again two weeks later, just before the movie disappeared from cineplexes. Would you believe I was THE ONLY person in the room?! When the eagle at the end soared away over the mountain range, I had to choke back angry tears. (The beautiful ending itself had caused the first upswell of tears.) Why was nobody else enjoying the show with me? And what a show it was! Great "acting" by the digitally created cast, especially the leads, restrained but believable dialogue, breath-taking visuals, and tight editing of a logical storyline that is so perfectly steamlined and simple it should never cause confusion. So why this tragedy of an empty theater after just two weeks?

First, many critics panned it, complained of wooden acting and a convoluted plot. They claimed the story was unoriginal; well, what other movie does it plagiarize? Apart from the stereotyped way the marines sometimes talk, what is unoriginal here? Second, the trailer was misleading; this is a moving love story, set against the spooky, solemn backdrop of a last-ditch attempt to repel an alien invasion and restore the Earth to humanity. The love is between Aki and Gray, who ultimately must love their planet enough to sacrifice their lives to save it. There is also credible caring between Dr. Sid and Aki, and Gray and his Deep-Eyes. But the trailer presented "Final Fantasy TSW" as a kind of juiced-up videogame. A rollercoaster thrill ride, which it is at times, but the human quality of the story is paramount. It's the only reason I would have seen this movie so many times, bought TWO copies on DVD, and now proudly own TWO copies of the Blu-ray release. It's definitely worth it.

Unfortunately, that will not bring back Square Pictures (closed up shop after the movie flopped) or reunite the gifted animators who brought the characters to life so memorably. I'm just doing my part to support one of my favourite movies, while thumbing my nose at certain small-minded critics and at the moviegoers who left me all alone in the theater (not that I really minded having the whole place to myself).

Lovers of this movie, UNITE! (And if you haven't seen it yet, by all means DO!)

Daughters of Darkness (1971)

Since I've been watching a ton of Eurohorror classics lately, now is as good as a time as any to say a few words about "Daughters of Darkness." I made a vow some time ago to ignore vampire films as a general rule. It's not that I strongly dislike all vampire films, mind you, but I just feel like the genre has been done to death over the years. How many versions of Dracula can you watch before your eyes start rolling over the predictability of it all? The plots are all essentially the same, right? You've got the obligatory virgin, the dashing young lad, the wizened vampire hunter, and good old Drac himself ambling around in the dark tormenting the others. A bunch of people fall prey to the vampire, the hunter teams up with the young man in an effort to save the young girl, and a stake through the old ticker pretty much wraps the whole thing up. Well, a bit of experience reveals quite a few films that play around with this tried and true formula. One way to accomplish something different, if these European flicks are any indication, is to punch up the proceedings with a generous helping of bare flesh. There's nothing like a bunch of gals trooping around in revealing outfits, or no outfits at all, to perk up the dreary old Stoker legend. And if you can make the head vampire a woman, that certainly can't hurt either. Welcome to "Daughters of Darkness."

Something weird and wonderful is going on in this movie, but you have to wait awhile to see it. The picture starts out by showing us two freshly wedded lovebirds, Valerie (Danielle Ouimet) and Stefan (John Karlen), heading to the European coast on a train. Ostensibly, the two married in secret and are now going to head over to England to meet Stefan's domineering mother. Valerie worries whether the woman (ha!) will accept her since Stefan makes it abundantly clear that his beloved mother is quite picky about her son's girlfriends. Stefan assures Valerie all will go well, but it soon becomes apparent that he isn't hurrying to get to England. While waiting for the ship that will take them home, the two check into a massively creepy hotel on the coast. No other guests are staying in the building since it's out of season, so Valerie and Stefan have the beautiful building all to themselves. That is until Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Delphine Seyrig) and her beautiful companion Ilona (Andrea Rau) arrive on the scene in a vintage automobile. Most of us are aware that Elizabeth Bathory was a notorious sixteenth century Hungarian noblewoman who supposedly kept herself eternally young by bathing in vats filled with the blood of young maidens. Unfortunately, Valerie and Stefan don't make the connection.

Still, the newlyweds grow increasingly aware that something isn't right with the beautiful countess. First, it's rather odd that the hotel manager claims that he remembers Countess Elizabeth showing up at the hotel nearly fifty years before looking exactly as she does now. Second, she's downright creepy. There's something hidden behind her horrific grin that makes you want to scream. Second, the Countess Elizabeth takes an incredible interest in the activities of the couple. She always seems to appear whenever Stefan and Valerie leave their room, grinning that horrible grin and cooing like a cat over the two newlyweds. Bathory seems to have an eye for the beautiful Valerie, too, which makes sense when we discover exactly why Ilona follows her around like a puppy. It turns out history made a mistake about the blood vats, not recognizing or refusing to record that Bathory was really a vampire with a penchant for young gals. She's roamed Europe for over three hundred years playing the same bloody game, a game that now threatens to rip apart forever this hapless couple. In no time at all, Elizabeth manages to drive a wedge between the Stefan and Valerie, recruit the latter to her thirsty cause, and wreak a whole heck of a lot of havoc in the hotel.

You just gotta love this film. "Daughters of Darkness" is one of the best vampire films I have ever seen for a multitude of reasons. The primary reason the picture succeeds is due to the amazing talents of Delphine Seyrig. Who is this enchanting woman and where has she been all my life? I love this lady! She manages to make her character insanely gorgeous and metaphysically eerie at the same time. She slinks around in shimmering outfits dropping suggestive comments, tells horribly gory stories, winks, and grins with the greatest of ease. And her fate at the end of the film is gruesome and disturbing. Just as good as Seyrig is the oppressive atmosphere of the hotel and the desolate surroundings. Characters move around outside under overcast skies and through pouring rain. Forests nearby are dense and spooky. Every set piece seems to telegraph a sense of impending doom for the film's participants. Finally, you simply won't believe your eyes when Stefan calls his mother on the phone. What was director Harry Kumel thinking here? What an incredibly bizarre scene to insert into the picture! Oh man, you just won't comprehend the insanity of it!

"Daughters of Darkness" deserves five stars for its amazing performances and over the top antics. I can't thank Blue Underground enough for releasing this treasure on DVD. While the print transfer occasionally suffers from some minor blemishes and fading colors, most of the movie looks great. Extras include two commentary tracks, radio spots, a trailer, stills, and an interview with Andrea Rau. Run, don't walk, to pick up a copy of this underrated gem.

The notion of "vampirism" has always had ties to dark and forbidden sides of human sexuality, and has served as metaphor for homosexuality, nymphomania, and maochism. The sexual revolution of late 60's and early 70's produced a bevy of erotic, "lesbian" vampire films, in which their creators were able to graphically exploit all manner of sexual taboos that had only been hinted at previously. DVDs have given us a wonderful cross-section of these forbidden fruits from Jess Franco's psychedelic Vampiros Lesbos to the surreal-dreamy trappings of Jean Rollin's Shiver Of The Vampires, but Daughter's of Darkness is for many (myself included) is the cream of the crop.

Daughter's is kind of a hybrid between Sheridan Fornau's often-filmed vampire story, Carmilla, and the many legends and exploits of real-life "vampire" Elizabeth Bathory. Brought into the present, the film begins with the arrival of two newlyweds, Stephan & Valerie (John Karlen & Danielle Quimet), to a gloomy and mostly deserted beachfront hotel in Belgium. From the onset we observe all is not right with this union, Stephan refuses to tell his "mother" of their marriage and is revealing an aloof and sadistic temperament, which Valerie mournfully tolerates. Out of the night arrives the Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Delphine Seyrig) and her sultry companion/accomplice Ilona (Andrea Rau). The Countess takes an immediate, carnal interest in the young newlyweds, and especially in Valerie. Meanwhile there seems to be a rash of murders in the nearby villages in which the young female victims have been drained of all their blood. Before long the countess and her reluctant companion have seduced the troubled newlyweds, and this is where the fun begins.

Though many erotic vampire films of the time boast tantalizing visuals & copious nudity, director Harry Kummel clearly meant Daughters of Darkness to be more than a thinly veiled soft-core "art film". Not that it's minus these elements, Daughters' is quite explicit, but it's also a sophisticated and highly styled horror film laced with bewildering moments of black-comedy. In short, it's delightfully European.

As the ageless and decadent Elizabeth Bathory, Euro-star Delphine Seryig is without peer. More often than not, female erotic-vampires are portrayed as baleful, unwilling victims of their own desires, but not Elisabeth. The Countess takes great pride in her wickedness, and done-up like a thirties Marline Dietrich, Seyrig is believable and amusing, but never corny as she gleefully corrupts all that she touches.

Blue Underground's anamorphic transfer of Daughters is a vast improvement over the early Anchor Bay edition. Though utilizing the same source, Blue Undergrounds mastering is sharper, the colors are more stable and it's free of the bleeding and artifacts that plague the previous release. It still contains the commentary track with male lead John Karlen, but raises the stakes greatly with an additional commentary track with director Harry Kumel, an onscreen interview with actress Andrea Rau, an excellent theatrical trailer, radio spots, and a poster and still gallery. Priced at $20 (or less) this is an essential up-grade for Euro-horror fans and an excellent entry for the Euro-curious.

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This is one of those movies from the days when local stations ran horror movies on Saturday afternoons, stations that -alas! -have since aligned with upstart networks and now run infomercials all day. Mostly they'd run the great films from Hammer Studios, the Japanese monster movies like "Godzilla," and, of course, the '50s B-movies like "Them." Every now and then, though, they'd show this truly creepy little gem. Now, of course, as an adult I recognize this as an 'Art Film' but then it was just eerie, creepy, and totally different -especially when compared to the typical vampire and other monster movies where the hero gets the girl and the monster gets killed/destroyed. A horror movie done as an art film, there's a lot going on that the viewer either has to guess, assume, or be left wondering about. In that sense, "Daughters of Darkness" foreshadows the modern Japanese horror films like "Ringu" or "Uzumaki" where you're left with unanswered questions, the kind that make you check to make sure the doors are locked. Blue Underground did a fantastic job with this DVD transfer, and it's great to be able to see this movie in its entirety instead of edited for TV. The only thing missing is Delphine Seyrig singing the title theme at the beginning of the movie ("...Don't let the sunlight find you, or you may fade and die."). Where'd that go?

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"Daughters of Darkness" crackles with repressed sexual energy and barely suppressed libidinous desire in a way uncommon for an early 1970's horror film. Eschewing the somewhat vulgar and obvious treatment of the same story by Hammer, made as "Countess Dracula", Belgian director Harry Kumel opts for an overly symbolic aesthetic that self consciously emulates European art cinema. The similarities to Alain Resnais' "Last Years in Marienbad" are notable in relation to casting, but also in the strangely isolated and ethereal hotel setting. Kumel also experiments with time and space in a non linear way. This is not to say that his film makes no narrative sense, in fact it easy to follow, but symbolic representations of time signified by the countess herself makes one question not only the films reality but also its temporality. Kumel also makes use of an intriguing colour scheme which privileges reds and greens as symbols of death, decay, but also regeneration. Perhaps the films most impressive aspect though is its almost total rejection of the iconography of the horror genre. For example we see no fangs, we so no drinking of blood, no familiars, in fact by the films conclusion we are not even 100% sure there has been any vampirism. This is a great film because Kumel takes exploitation material (lesbianism and vampirism) and places them in the background, preferring to privilege mood, ambience and an artistic formal strategy.

Blue Underground's DVD presents the film fully restored and uncut and in a sumptuous transfer. Also included in this edition is another treatment of the Countess Bathory story, the rather more exploitative "Blood Spattered Bride", this is a perfectly acceptable effort, but with a stronger emphasis on nudity and violence...But there is nothing wrong with that.

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This is a well-executed vampire film with a number of very good ingredients thrown in. The lead role of the seductive countess is well played by Delphine Seyrig, and she leads a small but attractive cast of actors who all perform convincingly and are also enjoyable to look at. The movie is set in a bleak European winter that offers little by way of great scenery. The plot centres around a young newlywed couple on their way to England who get sidetracked and find themselves staying at an empty seaside resort. Here the husband starts to reveal the first hints of his slightly sadistic and perverse nature. Shortly afterwards, a Hungarian countess with a mysterious past arrives with her female assistant and they immediately start taking an unnatural interest in the newlyweds. The Hungarian countess is actually a blood drinking vampire and when she decides to thrust herself upon the unwary couple in a quest for fresh blood she finds that the husband is somewhat more forthcoming than his beautiful wife. An accidental death follows and then things start going out of control.

Despite the inclusion of frontal nudity, lesbian erotic undertones and a certain amount of blood and gore, this is no exploitation movie. The production is polished and the acting accomplished. The movie is somewhat of a slow burn that builds and maintains a good amount of atmosphere. For lovers of the vampire genre there are enough touches of class in this to warrant multiple viewing.

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In a Glass Cage (1987)

In A Glass Cage is a piece of work that should not be overlooked. When I saw the film Apt Pupil, I thought it was a decent film with some superb acting, but sadly I felt Hollywood had watered the movie down when it came to portraying the Nazi mentality, decadence, cycle of abuse, and cruelty. After viewing In A Glass Cage, I had finally seen what the other film could have become if it were not for Hollywood politics, and since then I have kept an ever closer eye on foreign cinema.

In A Glass Cage is a both a tale of mental decay and revenge. This story revolves around a German family that has relocated to isolation in Spain after the fall of the 3rd Reich, and a young man(Angelo), who as a child was abused by the patriarch of the family, Klaus; a former SS officer. Angelo has tracked Klaus down, and catches him committing another brutal act against a youth. Klaus' brutal act sends Klaus over the mental edge, and in a fit of despair, he makes a failed suicide bid, confining him to an Iron Lung with glass windows(the Glass Cage). Angelo, having gathered some sensitive journals depicting Klaus' crimes, uses this and his past with Klaus to coerce Klaus into allowing Angelo into the household to "care" for the paralyzed and helpless Klaus.

Angelo quickly begins corrupting the family, gaining the daughter's affections and simultaneously gaining the abhorance of the family matriarch, while keeping Klaus on edge by making him relive the atrocities he has tried to escape. At first Angelo does this through reading the journals of atrocities to Klaus, and eventually Angelo descends deeper into madness, and begins committing atrocities of his own. Starting with the matriarch of the house, Angelo begins to kill, and he quickly moves on to children like is described in the journals he reads. The torture of Klaus who both adores and despises himself for the very things he is now forced to watch has come full circle. His wife is dead, his daughter is controlled by Angelo, and he is forced to relive himself.

This is where the uncompromising nature of the piece really takes hold. Children are put to death in this film, and the viewer is not spared the agony of this with implications, or off-camera violence. This happens in your face, even in the very first scene with Klaus and the youth. It places a bitter slice of Nazi cruelty right in your mouth for you to taste. Eventually this cruelty is aimed at Klaus himself, and with the eerie aid of the daughter, the mental schism becomes complete, with Angelo assuming the role of Klaus in the glass cage.

I found this film to be more of a dramatic shocker than an art-house film, but the story is solid and the acting is top notch, especially when approaching the subject matter. In a Glass Cage does not shock simply to degrade the viewer, rather presents the violencce in a "this is how it went down" fashion. Nothing is glamorized and no character is particularly likeable, they simply do as they are programmed to do for better or worse, which is right on point in the context of Naziism.

If the visually-presented subject of Nazi cruelty regarding homosexuality, petiphilia, and grotesque murder of children would get you to leave a room, then this film is not for you. But for those of you seeking uncompromising cinema....

I saw this movie at a midnight screening in New York City about ten years ago expecting a movie loaded with blood and dismemberments. Instead, I got a movie lacking in gore, but high on psychological horror.

The movie is about Klaus, a Nazi war criminal and child molester exiled in Spain with his family, who ends up confined to an iron lung (a huge metal and glass breathing aparatus, the "glass cage" of the title). One day, a young man named Angelo shows up at his home demanding a private meeting with him. Against his wife's wishes, Klaus agrees to see Angelo, who walks out of the meeting with a new position as Klaus's live-in caretaker. He soon takes over the household and reveals his true reason for being there: Angelo had been one of Klaus's victims as a child, but rather than returning to exact revenge, he wants to learn from Klaus and reenact his atrocities.

The movie doesn't have any explicit gore, but it doesn't flinch at other disturbing visuals either. While most films that feature child murders only allude to them and have the crimes occur offscreen, director Agustín Villaronga doesn't hesitate to show a little boy's throat being sliced. More disturbing than any of the child murders, though, is how Angelo gains complete control of the household, including the full trust of Klaus's young daughter. It's the thought of evil having such seductive power that will haunt you long after the credits roll.

This movie is clearly not for everybody, and fans of mainstream cinema will likely brand this exploitation, but for those with a strong stomach and a taste for something different, this horror classic, long overdue on DVD, will be a real treat.

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IN A GLASS CAGE is an obscure and rather hard to stomach Spanish (kind of) arthouse horror movie. It has a rather bad reputation for being one of the most disturbing movies ever committed to celluloid and when I did some online research prior to placing my order on amazon's website I found lots of stories of whole audience walk-outs durings screenings of the film.

While I personally think that the film does not exactly live up to his bad reputation and feel that the shock value is a bit overrated (admittedly this could be due to my familarity with the plot prior to watching it) make no mistake about it: Most people will find story and events in this movie completely revolting and disgusting. I kidd you not.

IN A GLASS CAGE's story concerns Klaus, a paedophile and former Nazi concentration camp doctor who had conducted horrifying experiments on children during the war. Confined helplessly to an iron lung (the glass cage of the title) after a failed suicide attempt, he lives with his wife Griselda and daughter Rena very isolated in exile in Spain. One day, a young man blackmails Klaus in order to be hired as a nurse. It is obvious that the intruder does not simply wants a job and Klaus' past is linked to this young man...What unfolds is an horrifying tale about the attraction of evil and a cycle of ever repeating abuse and terror.

While the film is not overly graphic in its murder scenes, the film is often quite hard to watch, most notably when Angelo stabs a young boy with a gasolene filled syringe in the heart. However what is far more shocking is the sickness of the movie's theme of child abuse. It has to be said however that IN A GLASS CAGE is not a nasty horror film, exploiting a serious issue for questionable entertainment value. It is in fact quite intellectual demanding and you have a lot to think about after the end of the film (the cycle of ever repeating abuse and terror, the political subtext).

It is also very well made, boasting an impressive cinematography with images that linger long in the mind of the viewer. Kudos to the excellent actors for their powerhouse performances in very difficult and challenging roles.

As said before this is an demanding movie which will most likely upset and deeply shock most audiences. If in doubt, do not watch.

However I was not overly impressed with the DVD. Picture quality is acceptable, however far from outstanding.

Annoyingly there is little in the way of extras, just some well written liner notes (well written, but somehow pointless, since only stating the obvious) and a highly interesting but too brief interview with director Agustin VILLARONGA.

Thankfully the optional English subtitles are easy on the eyes.

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Banned in Australia for almost 28 years despite several attempts (even recently) to get it classified. It was available on video back in the mid eighties when I first obtained a copy from overseas and later as a dvd special edition several years ago . The film is extremely strong in its' depiction of child abuse after the second world war and will make most viewers feel sick during the abuse. It is probably the most disturbing film ever made and it has not lost its impact after such a long time. Most films lose their impact after a few years but such is the powerful screenplay and imcredible directing ,IN A GLASS CAGE not only pushes the bounderies in cinema but exceeds it like no other film I have ever seen.If you thought that SALO120 DAYS OF SODOM was a shocker when first released then wait until you see GLASS CAGE.It is a must for every film student and lover of European cinema.No mature adult should be denied the opportunity to see this very powerful film .The film in no way approves of child abuse and it is very anti child abuse but it does indeed shock the unshockable.

A MASTERPIECE.

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The box for this DVD caught my eye immediately. I must confess I've always had a morbid interest in Nazi atrocity movies, although while watching them I usually find myself filled with disgust, and absolutely enraged that the participants of Hitler's war on decency were able to get as far as they did, and that so many of them got away with it. This film is described as a horror story and, on that level, it certainly delivers.

The narrative concerns a former Nazi named Klaus who took advantage of his position to indulge himself in the sadistic torture and sexual abuse of young boys. He continues his horrible blood-spree after the war, but in a fit of remorse, attempts suicide and winds up an invalid, confined to an iron lung (exactly how this happens was very unclear in the actual film I rely on the accuracy of a review I read for this piece of plotline). His resentful wife and his small, shy daughter care for him, but long for a nurse to provide some relief. Enter a young man named Angelo who (we learn much later, but suspect from the moment of his introduction) was one of Klaus' few victims to survive meeting him. In a bizarre twist, the young man not only wants to perversely torture his tormentor in revenge, he also seeks to carry out similar crimes, acting out certain details in Klaus' diary exactly. Apparently Angelo's mind has been warped by his encounter with Klaus, and although he is horrified by the details, he is perversely excited by death, and seeks release by performing acts of cruelty in the presence of the man who treated him so badly so long ago. The result is a somewhat hard to follow but always absorbing shock-fest, which succeeds for its gory excesses if nothing else. It has more than its share of difficult-to-watch horror scenes, and one perfectly unforgettable scene in which Angelo murders Klaus' wife, and then ingeniously uses her corpse to exact a horrifying revenge. The contemplation of this scene alone chilled me to the bone and ruined my sleep for more than one night.

One aspect of it bothered me even more. This is NOT a gay film; I certainly don't view Klaus -who is married and has a daughter as anything but a sadistic heterosexual child molester, who happens to favor little boys as his victims. Yet it is aggressively being marketed as a "gay film" and I, for one, resent the fact that some people seem to see it that way merely because the sadistic child molester victimizes boys. The young actor who plays Angelo is quite handsome, but his actions are far too cruel, sadistic and depraved for anyone but a full-blown masochist to find him erotically stimulating.

If you want a fully realized and graphically bloody horror film, you will enjoy this picture very much. However, if you find this shocker even slightly erotic, I suggest you check out a good therapist on the way home.

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