In the Family

I have been advocating for this film ever since I first saw it in Chicago. When it came back to Chicago, I went to see it again. I am dumbfounded that it wasn't considered for an Academy Award.

Patrick Wang's direction is thoughtful, well-considered, and a pleasant change from traditional Hollywood film making. Scenes in which the action is happening off-camera carry more impact than had the action been filmed.

The film's subject matter -same-sex families, two dads, fighting relatives over child custody, death, loss, homophobia, race, love -could have easily turned this film into a maudlin mess were it not for Wang's skillful screenwriting, directing, and acting. The film also skillfully avoids being overtly political despite the subject matter. I'm writing my own first screenplay and I've learned a lot just from repeatedly watching this film.

I know it sounds like hyperbole, but this is seriously the best film I've seen in years.

Powerful. Subtle. Deliberate. Immersive. Inspirational. Challenging. Groundbreaking.

"In the Family" is not about the knee-jerk morality questions our society regularly pontificates on the surfaces of right and wrong. Rather, it is about multiple layers of meaning behind such words as truth, innocence, justice, empathy, compassion, family, and love as they actually play out in the real, down-to-earth lives that we live together as a human family. This film is no less than an indie-masterpiece.

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The first time I saw this film I thought about it for weeks on end, wishing for another opportunity to see it. The second time, I was able to simply bask in the beauty and power of the film. The Q&As were long, open conversations lasting over an hour. I am looking forward to another opportunity to see In the Family and I can't wait to tear through the additional material that is packaged with it. Worth owning, worth sharing with people that are close to you.

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Many critics could argue, perhaps convincingly, that "In the Family" could be edited from its almost 3 hours to 2 hours, however, the pacing of the film doesn't suffer from its length. And by taking time to develop the almost mundane everyday life of a gay couple raising a young son, the film is actually a bold political statement that speaks directly to every person who thinks being gay is somehow a non-stop sex fest. Because of that, the film makes a very strong point even before the issues at the heart of the movie become front and center. It's a family friendly film where sexual orientation is almost an afterthought of the movie and that is what sets the tone and makes it groundbreaking. That is a long winded way of saying that anyone who thinks the film should fit into a typical 2 hour movie formula, is missing the depth of the story and the emotional impact the pacing creates.

Many Asian-American actors would say they hate doing accents because they are connected with stereotypical roles, but Patrick Wang's southern accent probably wasn't what Asian-American actors had in mind and in this case it is a testament to Patrick's incredible acting abilities. I am one who thinks directors should direct and not also take on the demand of acting in their own films because both can suffer, but Patrick Wang's acting and directing are both amazing. He has embraced this film heart and soul and it's evident in its emotional complexity and perhaps this is a case where it could not have been as successful without Patrick in both roles.

In the film the downward spiral starts with the confrontation between Joey (Patrick Wang) and Chad's sister over the will and is a riveting scene that doesn't leave the viewer rooting for anyone, but actually feeling the pain and the point each is making about the circumstances. But for Joey it is the most devastating because everything in his life is gone overnight; his partner, his child, and his home. The loneliness and destruction of his life is powerfully and beautifully created by Patrick's acting and directing making this a heart wrenching film that shouldn't be missed. And the film's conclusion? Emotionally brilliant.

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This film is certainly not for everyone, at almost 3 hours length, with minimal soundtrack and mostly static shots. But I sat riveted until the end, as did most of the audience in the theater.

The plot sounds melodramatic: a gay Asian man fights for the custody of the son he shared with his deceased lover. But writer/director Patrick Wang, who seems clearly influenced by the understated Yasujiro Ozu and Ang Lee, avoids the easy moral conflicts. Instead, he focuses on the daily lives of mostly average and good hearted people. There are no stereotype villains here. Instead of a Hollywood court battle, we have an almost documentary like deposition meeting that still manages to be dramatic and emotionally true.

The cast is uniformly terrific, especially young Sebastian Banes as Chip and Brian Murray as the lawyer. Certain quietly powerful scenes still stay with me, like the kitchen scene post-funeral and Chip replaying the audiotape of his father's voice calling his name. Patrick Wang will be a talent to follow! This was also a favorite of the late Roger Ebert, a champion of small independent gems.

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