Massage Parlor Murders (Blu-ray + DVD Combo) (1972)

I suppose the best way to describe this movie, would be as some sort of Grindhouse version of `The French Connection'. Not only is there a strong emphasis on the whole cop business and do we get treated to an extended car chase, both movies share the same kind of loose script structure. In typical seventies fashion, instead of a tightly written scenario based on cause and effect, `Massage Parlor Murders' offers almost random vignettes creating a wonderfully sprawling epic that clocks in at just under 80 minutes. In doing so, it has created a wonderful time capsule, which captures that seventies sensibility so well, with those instantly recognizable colors, the great music (which seems a cross between early Funkadelic and the Miles Davis of the period) and of course that truly awful and ubiquitous wallpaper. With a title like `Massage Parlor Murders!' you'd probably expect a straight horror movie, but probably the exclamation mark (which is there on the title card) should give you a clue this is going to be something entirely else. So besides the wonderful sleaziness of it all, the movie is played more for comedy than horror, with some truly hilarious moments though there are some gore sequences as well. In the end, what's most beautiful about this picture is its total refusal to be categorized and its willingness to go anywhere it pleases; what it may lack in coherence, it more than makes up for with poetic logic.

For only their second blu-ray release, Vinegar Syndrome couldn't have picked a better title than `Massage Parlor Murders'. They not only rescued this gem from obscurity, somehow they've managed to make it look like a million bucks too. When I saw the trailer for this release, I was very much surprised at how good it looked, and fortunately this doesn't limit itself to just the trailer. Sure, there is the occasional odd frame and the soundtrack isn't always pitch-perfect, but this is one scrumptious looking blu-ray. Vinegar Syndrome is a new player in town (their Expectations/Confessions double bill is already one of my favorite releases of the year) and everyone who considers himself a exploitation genre nut owes it to himself to check out their releases and this one is a good a place to start as any.

In today's high-tech world, many casual viewers of films and videos have little appreciation for what came before. Clearly, some of this is due to the fact that practically every television set has a billion channels of programming available at any given hour of the day (or night), so there's very little need much less desire to seek out some of the lesser titles of yesteryear, of which I've no doubt something like MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS (aka MASSAGE PARLOR HOOKERS) is part and parcel of. Instead, folks will pop in some cheaply-produced direct to DVD release starring any number of forgettable performers and featuring any variation of plot they've seen hundreds of times before.

I'm certainly not making the case that MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS is necessarily a better choice. It is, nonetheless, an apt portrait for storytelling plucked from a different time a different culture with different storytelling expectations and, for that reason alone, I'd argue it's worth at least a single view.

(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and characters. If you're the kind of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I'd encourage you to skip down to the last two paragraphs for my final assessment. If, however, you're accepting of a few modest hints at `things to come,' then read on ...)

A serial killer who targets massage parlor prostitutes is on the loose. Unfortunately, the cops can't catch a break much less a legitimate suspect and the trail runs cold before the audience can say `entrapment.' (There's a brief, goofy sidetrack involved with their only possible lead, played by screen veteran George Dzundza who also happens to be the assistant director in what has to be one of his earliest appearances ever.) But when one cop falls for the roommate of a victim, it becomes a race against time to catch the murderer before he might catch her!

MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS boasts the kind of plot that ignited so much of the early 1970's exploitation scene. It's got hot women. It's got sex. It's got nudity. It's got violence. It's got blood. It's got wicked subcultures. It's got crooked cops. It's got meaty undertones (i.e. religion). It's got car chases. It's got beer and cigarettes. And, unfortunately, it's got a lot of bad acting, but that's all meant in good, gory fun. Quite literally, every possible influence you could ever want in a respectable, B movie (or is that C-movie?) in there and more, so much so that I was a bit surprised it didn't wallow in its excess.

And how is it?

Well, it's about as entertaining as any sub-standard release could've been for its time, and that's why I'd endorse it worth a single view.

As I said in the opening, folks today certainly can't appreciate the blood and bluster that was the underground exploitation scene that populated double-bills at lesser theatres or drive-ins through-out the 1970's and early 80's. None of these were meant to be `great pictures'; rather, they were made on the cheap for no other reason than the love of making it AND the love of watching it. I've no doubt that all of this gusto maybe meant something more to the folks who threw it together because there are solid hints at some admirable ideas so often explored in big budget films (the cop-buddy film, the serial killer, etc.). Films like this don't get made all that often these days, and that's why I found much of MASSAGE to be a terrific portrait of what subversive filmmaking was like. If anything, the film screens like an hour-long police procedural with probably 20 minutes of mild gratuitousness added for the crowd appeal. Watch closely, and you'll see perhaps every lovely victim still breathing after they've been pronounced dead. Watch even closer, and you might see them blink their eyes.

MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS is produced by Craig Nolan and Bert Cohen. DVD distribution is being handled through Vinegar Syndrome. As for the technical specifications, you might be surprised how well this looks and sounds given its age and history; yes, there's some modest grain and 2.0 channel sound isn't all that grand, but I found this better than most. As for the bonuses? There are theatrical trailers and a host of outtakes (about eight minutes) that may not add up to much more than alternate takes and `filler' cinematography, but there's a terrific essay available in liner notes by Temple of Schlock writer Chris Poggiali that's tops.

RECOMMENDED. Will a film like MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS shatter expectations? With a title like that, need I give you an honest answer? Will it define the way movies are made in the present day and age? Of course not. Spielberg and Scorsese have nothing to worry about. Will it alter the fabric of time and space? Not very likely. But what it may do is serve as eighty minutes of film history. It's a throwback to a time when special effects were practical considerations needing to be captured in-process and not to be fixed in post. This is a B-movie with A-movie ideas, ones not all that dissimilar to David Fincher's SE7EN thematically. I've seen (obviously) far worse exploitation flicks than this one. Despite some weird pacing problems that plague the latter half, this one ends up being pretty benign by comparison.

In the interests of fairness, I'm pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome provided me with an advance DVD copy of MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review.

Buy Massage Parlor Murders (Blu-ray + DVD Combo) (1972) Now

MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS has been all but buried since the 1970s, languishing in a vault somewhere. Fortunately, Vinegar Syndrome is the Tomb Raider of video labels. They have painstakingly tweaked and tweezed every molecule of the original camera negative to its original vibrancy. In fact, you may opt to watch the DVD in this combo-pack; the Blu-ray is almost TOO crystal clear.

MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS has no CGI, explosions, or ex-Disney bimbos. So what do you get? A pursuit featuring half a dozen or more $300 cars crashing into each other. Luscious, REAL 70s honies in their finest eyeshadow. Countless minutes of Sandra (LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT) Peabody wandering around NYC with her cop boyfriend. Lots of dead massage parlor girls who have trouble not blinking while the camera is rolling. Brother Theodore in freak-out mode. A music editor with ADHD. And above all, an ending that redefines the word "overkill." I had very high expectations for this film. While it did not deliver exactly what I had imagined, it surprised and pleased me well beyond what I dared hope.

Read Best Reviews of Massage Parlor Murders (Blu-ray + DVD Combo) (1972) Here

I applaud Vinegar Syndrome for releasing films that no one else would touch and I also appreciate that most of them are 70's explotation and sexploitation films. It's like I'm reliving my teenage years all over again. They take the utmost care in the films' restorations and always show the films in their actual theatrical ratio. They may be the new kid on the block, but they are a welcome addition to old fogies like me!

Want Massage Parlor Murders (Blu-ray + DVD Combo) (1972) Discount?

Vinegar Syndrome's release of Massage Parlor Murders will remain one of the more respected exploitation releases for years to come. What you have here is a high quality Blu-ray/DVD release of bargain basement 42nd St. fun. Massage Parlor Murders is a movie that lives up to its title; pretty girls, lots of nudity, a killer with creepy motives (think Se7en), bad dialogue, awesome location shots (check out those movie marquees), even more bad dialogue, genuine 60s/70s fashions, a sub-par car chase and of course gruesomely murdered hookers...oh I'm sorry, massage engineers. The gore effects are fairly tame and cheap but the brutality behind them is oddly effective. Many reviewers have been rough on the opening scene presented in the slightly longer "original cut" (found on both discs) but I think it's hilarious. The dialogue and acting is completely absurd. The whole film should be made in to a play.

Great image quality. Very colorful for such a feature. Those of you cranking this feature through a high end system may get irritated with the lackluster and somewhat noisy soundtrack. Its not a problem of the disc just issues inherent in the original tracks. Bonus features include outtakes, trailers, a radio spot and some welcome liner notes by Chris Poggiali (he knows his stuff). The outtakes are worth it just for the the location shots. There appears to be a problem with the radio spot on the Blu-ray disc (I checked two discs and neither had sound) but it plays fine on the DVD. Completing the package and adding an unusual touch of class is Jay Shaw's fantastic poster art, which is exclusive to this release. For a limited time you can get a high quality print of the poster on the Vinegar Syndrome website. Expect to pay a lot more for it when they sell out.

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