Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Machine Girl (2008)

Machine GirlMACHINE GIRL (aka. One-Armed Machine Girl) is an over-the-top, campy, ultra-violent action film by Iguchi Noboru (Sukeban Boy). The film is definitely NOT for everyone but will appeal to fans of Japanese cult films with a touch of dark comedy and unrealistic ultra-bloody violence made popular by Ichi the Killer and even Tarantino's magnificent "Kill Bill". Folks will either applaud or be repulsed by this film's execution, but it is a wickedly twisted, darkly-toned entertainment that knows exactly what it's going for. The film features well-known Japanese bikini model Minase Yashiro in her first feature role, ex-AV star Asami and the beautiful Honoka as the Yakuza boss' twisted wife. Do I have your attention yet?

Plot synopsis partly derived from the back cover:

Ami (Minase Yashiro) is a tough but otherwise average high school girl, trying to lead a normal life with her younger brother. Her whole world comes crushing down when her brother and his friend are killed by ruthless bullies led by a Yakuza Boss' son. When she goes to find those responsible, she finds herself in over her head and minus her left arm. Barely surviving, Ami escapes and finds shelter from a kindly mechanic and his wife Miki (Asami) who also happen to be the parents of her brother`s friend. They take pity on Ami's plight, helping her heal, training her and fitting her with a powerful machine gun where her left arm used to be. She then teams up with the tough mother to seek vengeance and together they unleash an unholy, non-stop, over the top kill fest against the equally creative machinery of their ruthless Ninja-Yakuza enemies.

The film is a wild blend of 70's "pink violence" and 80's super-violent splatter horror that doesn't take itself seriously. The film is full of bloody sequences and oddball weird humor that will undoubtedly garner a cult following. It was quite inventive of the filmmakers to rely on "old-school" style violence to conduct the visual blood and gore. Whether this decision was made because of budget constraints or some other factor, it made the film work; from an entertainment standpoint kind of way. The exaggerated gallons of blood complements the film's action sequences; chainsaw-fu, machine gun-fu, swordplay and brassiere-fu are the film's many unorthodox style of brutality. The film is an example of an adult-Tokusatsu (Kid's TV show)with the wild blend of action, camp, humor, sci-fi and even horror that plays like a stunt/Gore show.

The film also has some campy ideas that will make you say; "What the heck" as the film makes fun of certain anime-inspired names such as "Super Mourner Gang" and "Junior high Shuriken gang" seem attempts to somewhat tone down all the violence and brutality displayed. There are also twisted touches of oddball humor with the "sushi fingers" and "tempura arm". I've always wondered how Hellraiser's "Pinhead" got that look; Miki and Ami were very obliged to demonstrate how that sinister look can come about in a human being.

Sexy Minase Yashiro plays the lead, I'm a little undecided as to how well her first starring performance is. She has the right school girl look and she has a lot of charisma, but at times she looks a little awkward with the action sequences. Asami plays Miki and she looks a little young and definitely too cool to be the mother of a teenager. Nude model Honoka adds a lot of eye-candy as the wife of Yakuza boss Kimura. The woman is twisted in her own way, she has that no-nonsense appeal further accentuated by Honoka's sheer sexiness. She is seductively, yet creepily appealing as she displays her "Drill Brassiere" as an added campy display of villainy. Shimazu Kentaro is the Yakuza Boss who seemed to have been based on "Heihachi Yashima" from the "tekken" video game. The whirling and hurling flying razor sharp "bucket" adds more to the film's twistedly, campy appeal. Boss Kimura an intimidating villain although he isn't an originally fresh concept.

With Ami's Sailor Moon-inspired outfit, sentai/tokusatsu heroism, references to ninja and Yakuza elements, the film is definitely aimed at anime fan boys and those very initiated with Japanese cinema. The film's enjoyment requires a very large suspension of disbelief for its entirety. Take two cups of "Shoot `Em Up", three tablespoons of "Darkman" and even "Planet Terror" to two gallons of "Ichi The Killer" and stir vigorously, then you will have an accurate idea just how this film plays out. The film doesn't take itself seriously and if "Machine Girl" is any indication of the filmmakers take on twisted entertainment, then I'm sold to see "Tokyo Gore Police".

Recommended for fans of J-cinema and Pink violence [3 ½ ++ Stars]

If arterial spray was a sexual fetish, "The Machine Girl" would be hardcore porn. If cinematic cheese were real cheese, it could open it's own pizza parlor. If an ultraviolent anime came to life, it would be this film. I haven't seen a display like this since Riki-Oh. And at least that one had the restraint to refrain from drill-bra versus chainsaw duels and Power Ranger-esque ninja death squads. But make no mistake, this is one of the most hysterically good times a gorehound can have with a single DVD.

Blood covers the screen, the heroines, the villains, the floor, and everything else in this film, sometimes to the point where it's all you can see. Fingers are made into sushi, an arm is battered and deep-fried, a woman discovers her son's head in her soup and then vomits as she is stabbed through the mouth from behind, her blood mixing with the extra-chunky puke to pour enticingly onto her son's disembodied head in the bowl in front of her (OWNED!), and that's before the giant machine-gun arm comes in! Have I given everything away? Not by a long shot. By this time you're either in or out, but I'll give you one more teaser. The Flying Guillotine: corniest martial-arts weapon EVER! Love it.

Get ready to laugh yourself sick...or maybe just get sick. Either way, this is one of the giddiest, most profanely violent, and cheesiest grindhouse films I've ever seen. It even comes complete with a score that could have come straight out of a 70's exploitation flick. Consider my faith in Japanese cinema officially restored. This is what I want to see when I pick up a movie with a DVD cover like this one's: a Japanese schoolgirl with a ridiculous machine gun arm blow a hole in a guy and then stick the gun through the hole she just shot in the guy to shoot a hole in another guy's face. Is that too much to ask? Director Iguchi Noboru says "HELL NO!". And God bless him for that.

4 1/2 stars rounded down for some poor special effects.

Buy Machine Girl (2008) Now

Just to throw this out there Tokyo Shock either needs to step it up, or get out of the Blu-Ray business.

Their latest effort, Machine Girl, hits Blu-Ray with a number of problems.

Let me start off by saying I really like the movie. It's an over-the-top, low-budget, Japanese action/comedy film. Similar to movies like Riki-Oh, Vampire girl vs. Frankenstein girl, Tokyo Gore Police, Mutant Girls' Squad and a number of other titles). Very gory, but very entertaining! The other reviews should give you an idea of what to expect or just pull up the trailer. You should be able to tell if it's "for you" or not. My 3 star-rating is for the BLU-RAY, not the movie.

Anyways, I bought the original DVD: The Machine Girl

...Then a couple months later they released a 2-disc DVD: The Machine Girl Remix -I bought that too!

A few months after that, they had the nerve to release a 3-disc DVD: Ultimate Machine Girl: Collectors Tin (3pc) (Ws) I even bought that one.

4 days later, they announce the Blu-Ray.

Being a sucker for the movie, and having already bought it 3 times (what harm is a 4th time??) I bit.

A little back information here in addition to Tokyo Shock's need to re-release movies multiple times with little differences (in the above cases, the 2 disc set was the same as the original Disc 1, but with an added short film (20 minutes) on disc 2. The 3 disc set were the previous 2 discs and a 3rd with some extras), they put very little effort into their blu-rays (see: Ichi the Killer [Blu-ray] and Tokyo Gore Police [Blu-ray] ).

Knowing this, I decided to give them a chance.

Problem #1:

The case states "2X DISC SET" much like with the Tokyo Gore Police Blu-Ray, this is just an error (?) as there is only 1 disc inside. Don't get excited thinking they put all the extras onto 1 disc either, as you'd be mistaken.

The back of the case lists:

* Special features DVD with interviews and promo events

* Machine Girl Lite feature

* Behind the scenes of Machine Girl

* Original Trailer

The "Special features DVD with interviews and promo events" is what's missing. This sounds like the 3rd DVD from the 'Ultimate Machine Girl' set above. No big deal for me since I own it, but it would have definitely bumped up my review (as this Blu-Ray is 1/3rd the price of the Ultimate DVD).

On the bright side, it does have the Machine Girl Lite short film (~20 minutes). All the extras are in 480i, not HD.

Audio is in either DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 or 5.1 (and English or Japanese) I can't comment on it as I don't have a DTS-HD MA system, but the bitrates appear to be around 1.2 1.6 mbps throughout. Don't expect much though.

The video is probably one of the worst looking Blu-Rays out there. Not faulting Tokyo Shock completely on this one (as these are generally low-budget films), but it doesn't even seem High-Definition. There are jagged lines through (aliasing problems), terrible video noise, banding, and it's all noticeable from a distance away (I saw about 8 feet from a 50" TV and could easily see it). The flickering during motion scenes was the worst. The video was also uneven, looking good in some scenes, horrible in others. Probably an issue with brightness (indoors/outdoors).

In the end, this is basically the MACHINE GIRL DVD + MACHINE GIRL REMIX DVD, on a Blu-Ray disc. This Blu-Ray is (currently..) cheaper than the regular DVDs, and for that it's probably worth buying. It can regularly be found for 10-12 dollars, which isn't bad. I wouldn't pay much more though.

Long story short -

If you own a previous DVD, PASS on this one.

If you don't own it, but are interested, go for the Blu-Ray.

If the missing extras (and nice Steelbook case) are important to you, go for the (very expensive) Ultimate Edition 3-disc DVD.

Read Best Reviews of Machine Girl (2008) Here

Dear Machine Girl,

I was so happy when I finally found you;

the blood-soaked girl of my dreams.

I think you're gatling gun arm was just super.

You were so bloody I could bathe in your torrents of gore.

And I loved that some of the color in your scenes were washed out.

Your were so pretty that night, with your plots of vengeance.

Remember when you severed that punks hand with a sickle,

or kicked a pipe through that other punks mouth, and out the back of his head.

That was just lovely.

You really made my night with that one.

Or the time you busted a hole in that red-ninja,

and then aimed through it and mowed another hole in his buddies skull.

Don't you remember all we've been through together,

the decaptations, the horizontal & vertical mutilations,

the showers of blood together.

We had so many romantic dinners, like the fried arm, and the finger sushi.

Remember that knife through that womans mouth,

oh what a joy to see her vomit blood on her sons decapitated head.

We had some good times didn't we??

Don't get me wrong every special effect we had was as corny as "he who walks behind the rows".

But they were fun weren't they.

Don't you recall??

Pounding nails in our enemies face,

the chainsaw leg, the flying guillotine, and the motorized drill bra.

I can't believe our bloody, slow-mo, skull-swapping conclusion.

It was all to sudden.

Come back to me Machine Girl,

I love you,

I need to feel your waves of blood on my face again.

You fill my world with gore.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

blood, Blood, BLOOD!!!!!!!!

Want Machine Girl (2008) Discount?

After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.

I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?

This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?

On a positive note, that's 2-for-2 this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick) and "The Machine Girl" were both insanely entertaining. I have full confidence that "Tokyo Gore Police" will be something really, really special. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter", "Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge", and "Onechanbara" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.

You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?

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