Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus & 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2010)

I got this because I saw Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus on tv a while ago and had a great time with my friend watching it. It's one of those movies that is so bad you can't hate it. We were laughing the whole time and really this is one of our favorite movies now. This was cheaper with the 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea than the movie itself, so I bought this to save a few dollars. I honestly have not watched the other movie yet so I cannot say how great or how bad that one is. But the price was hard to beat.

People who read books should not watch movies. There will never be any similarity between them. Does that make them bad? Verne's book "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is boring compared to any film made about it...except maybe ones with Doug McClure. 30,000 Leagues is clearly deeper than 20,000 Leagues but that doesn't make for a deeper film. This movie made me feel like I was in the first grade playing, "What's wrong with this picture?" It was fun and the only way to watch this film and enjoy it.

The first question I had to raise (having served on a nuclear sub) was when did they start allowing women to serve on subs? The answer I got from Wiki was December 2011...meaning it hasn't happened yet and certainly didn't happen in 2007 when this film was made. Okay, but it made for a more interesting film. Now the enlisted people had dark black background petty officer patches sewn to their left arm on their light blue shirt. The background on the patch is supposed to be the same color as the uniform. The woman appears to have a steel workers insignia, i.e. a construction rating and not an engineering or electrical type rating as one might expect. The male petty officer appears to have a discontinued (as of 2006) photographer's mate insignia. This is a special sub and would be considered a re-enlistment bonus for top first class petty officers in the engineering field, not a second class photographer's mate. Natalie Stone as Lieutenant Commander Lucille Conciel has her oak insignia on the right lapel only. The captain had his birds on both lapels and Lorenzo Lamas as Lieutenant Michael Arronax had his Lt. bars on one lapel and a chief petty officers anchor on the other. You got to ask yourself what did they do? Go to an army-navy store and buy a handful of stuff and tried to make it work? Of course they are going to try to rescue a sub that is stuck on the bottom (in tact?) at 20,000 feet that was taken down by a giant squid. In the following scene Lamas "corrects" his lapel insignias by eliminating the chief's anchor and replacing his double Lt. bars with a single silver Lt. junior grade bars. Did he get busted in those 2 minutes?

As their small sub descends they can look out into the ocean fairly clearly and see all kinds of things growing from the ocean floor. This is wrong on so many levels. 1) They don't have viewing window or screen doors on subs. 2)If they did it would be too dark to see much of anything 3) They are diving near the Marianas Trench. They wouldn't see the ocean flora even if they had a window with visibility.

As the small Aquanaut descends it shakes as if it is falling apart. The reason given is because they are going through thermal layers which rocks the boat. Hmmm. Actually submarines operate in those thermal layers because it makes it harder to be detected. And was that flames underwater?

The movie is fun as Asylum films demonstrate they know nothing about the Navy. Why do they insist on making ocean films? The only fun in watching this film is finding the errors. Captain Nemo was played bad. Natalie Stone look as if she was playing Casey Anthony on trial with the way she had her hair.

No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Frequent "Asylum actress", Kim Little looks cute in a pony tail and that is about as sexy as it gets.

This review is for: "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus"

The title should say, "Don't expect much." I expected a bad script, bad acting, bad science, and bad special effects. In that regard I wasn't disappointed. If you decide to turn it off after a giant shark jumps out of the water and takes a jet out of the sky, wait. We later find out they can travel 500 knots, but have trouble catching a nuclear sub doing less than say, 40 knots. No wait. These nuclear subs have something called "emergency turbos" so maybe they can go faster. Sailors on nuclear subs don't carry handguns. Really. Who would they shoot underwater? At one point they flash the locations of the recent attacks. Nearly all were in the Pacific ocean as expected. There were 3 in the Atlantic. As Sarah Palin might tweet, "WTF?" These creatures for some unexplained reason are impervious to conventional weapons so the military led by our secret government kidnaps three scientists to employ them for information on how to kill them. They get right on the task by mixing water tainted with various vegetable dies. We discover red water added to blue water makes purple water and that blonds love Japanese men who try to act like Sulu as much as Orientals love blonds. After a romp in a closet, they figure out they can lure the creatures into certain ports (San Francisco and Tokoyo) which have a natural shelf and then trap them. The idea being they can get in, but somehow they can't get out, unless they catch a ride with a plane flying overhead. They then manufacture a phermone of an extinct animal for which they would normally have no idea where to start. We know they are successful because when they mix two liquids together it turns florescent green and Debbie Gibson smiles.

At one point Japanese and American subs are in the same area. All the American subs are destroyed but one. The Japanese civilian scientist asks, which one is it, as Debbie or now Deborah Gibson is on one of them. The captain says, "No way of telling." After making subs (this film and Moby Dick) do all kinds of things beyond any smidgeon of realism, they claim they "can't tell." Really they can tell. Each sub has its own unique underwater signature.

Movie drops f-bomb once, no nudity, no sex scenes.

The creatures look very artificial. But what did you expect? If you enjoy getting stoned and watching "Lost in Space" episode , give this one 5 stars. Great two-fer Asylum price.

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Most things I Review I say yep or nope. So I'm short about 19 0r so words for your review.

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A Very cheap and Perfect way to waste 3 hours. Double Lorenzo Lamas (Snakeater Series), enough said. Check out Raptor Island as well, if your into nonsense.

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Okay, the internet hype of MSVGO was palpable and I'm glad the movie lived up to the hype. It was great b-grade fun, and I even felt had the film been made in the 80s, children of the nineties would have gotten an animated version of the show (of course, without the sex) to educate children about the ocean and the lifeforms in it that would be a great spin-off for The Asylum should they ever decide to do something like that.

The film reuses shots so many times it's practically made with a drinking game in the script. It's so much fun because it's so ridiculous.

30,000 leagues reuses ship shots from MSVGO (or is it the other way round?) and is quite boring. It's actually not terrible; the pacing is the only thing that really lets it down. Other than that it's pretty damn fun.

I recommend to b-movie fans for sure!

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