Lone Wolf Mcquade (1983)

While Chuck Norris has certainly appeared in some regrettable films during his lengthy career (can you say "The Hitman"?), I must say that "Lone Wolf McQuade" is one mightily entertaining movie. It perfectly plays to Norris's strengths, letting him to a little talking and a lot of butt-kicking as J.J. McQuade, a monosyllabic rebel who's earned legendary status as a Texas Ranger. McQuade delivers plenty of steely glares along with punches, kicks, and bullets, and has little respect for proper procedure, but he always get his man, as exemplified by an implausible opening scene in which he takes out about a dozen Mexican border criminals by himself. Yes, his character may be a cliche and a stereotype, but Norris plays him with admirable conviction, which is really all you can ask from him.

Perhaps more importantly, Norris actually gets a suitable foil in the form of "Kung Fu" legend David Carradine. Carradine fills the villain role very well as Rawley Wilkes (cool name), a smirking, smarmy, cigar-chewing gun-runner whose martial-arts expertise is matched by his fondness for argyle sweaters. Even if his first appearance in the movie didn't make it obvious, you'd be able to tell from one look at Rawley that he's pure evil. Even better, Carradine is joined in his crimes by an equally amoral partner who just happens to be a dwarf in an electric wheelchair. I'm not sure why, but that's just one of those inspired ideas that make a huge difference in movies.

The plot is rather minimal, but the makers of "Lone Wolf McQuade" were smart enough to give Norris fans what they want: action, action, and more action. After all, if we wanted substance, we could watch something else. Joined by a Mestizo partner and a renegade black FBI agent with a classic jheri curl, McQuade plows his way through a small army of inbred-looking thugs on his way to the inevitable showdown with Rawley at the end of the movie. Naturally, the bad guys have to make things personal by kidnapping McQuade's daughter, but all that does is raise the stakes when he finally does face Rawley. And while their fight scene may not quite match the legendary battle between Norris and Bruce Lee in "Way of the Dragon," there's still plenty of impressive brutality and technique for the martial-arts buff.

While the camp factor in "Lone Wolf McQuade" is still pretty high, that's certainly to be expected from a Norris movie. Yes, it's a bit dated, but those looking for some great pure action will not come away disappointed. If you're a fan of action movies in general or Norris movies in particular, you can do a lot worse. This is a prime entry in the "redneck action" subgenre.

SOME SPOILERS INCLUDED

In what ranks as his finest starring vehicle ever, Chuck Norris plays Texas Ranger J.J. McQuade, the "Lone Wolf" of the title. This Amovie is a cinematic monument to macho men, albeit with it's tongue firmly jammed into it's cheek. Broadly sampling Sergio Leone's Spaghetti Westerns and Sam Peckinpah's slow motion mass destruction epics, LONE WOLF McQUADE established Chuck Norris as a scion of the Clenched Jaw School of Acting personified by Kirk Douglas, James Coburn, Lee Marvin, and the early Clint Eastwood.

In the first five minutes of the film we are treated to a large scale automatic weapons shootout between a gang of modern-day Mexican horse theives on one side, and McQuade on the other. This entree sets the movie's tone of violent but cartoonish excess leavened with snarly comedy.

Despite McQuade's record of making more felony arrests than any other Ranger, the Establishment (personified in a fat, balding, self-righteous and pompous Ranger Captain) wants to rein McQuade in and make him part of the team. After being assigned a new partner (the rookie Ranger Kayo, played by a very young Roger Beltran, later of STAR TREK fame), McQuade withdraws to his sanctum sanctorum, a remote, filthy house in the desert cluttered with beer cans, dirty laundry, year-old take out food, gun catalogues and God-knows-what-else, all guarded by a coyote (in other words, a typical bachelor pad). Kayo tags along puppy-like, unwanted.

Lone Wolf McQuade's nemesis, Rawley Wilkes, is a big-time gunrunner, played by David Carradine (the former star of KUNG FU). Wilkes tries to kill McQuade's daughter Sally (Dana Kimmel) for having witnessed a major arms hijacking, and this plot contrivance propels the film. Rawley Wilkes' girlfriend, Lola Richardson (the incredibly sexual Barbara Carrera at the peak of her powers) decides she likes white hats, and moves in with the Lone Wolf. She cleans his house, does his laundry, buys vitamins, cooks real meals for him, and throws out his beer (!), putting McQuade into a complete panic. He almost ends their relationship in a fit of machismo during which McQuade pops open a foaming beer can at crotch level and growls, "Lady, if I want to kill myself, that's my business." Lola storms out in a feminine huff, but the big tough guy immediately begs her to return. This is all typical male behavior, of course. After all, would YOU toss Barbara Carrera out the door?

Wilkes, who is tired of McQuade's meddling on just so many levels, kidnaps his daughter, kills his best friend Dakota (the iconic Western actor L.Q. Jones), shoots the coyote, snatches Lola, and decides to entrap the Ranger, luring him into the middle of nowhere. After delivering a topnotch beating, Wilkes orders that McQuade be buried alive in his nitro-powered SUV. What follows can only be called "the holy scene," undoubtedly the apotheosis of this genre of film:

McQuade regains consciousness. Realizing he is buried alive, he grabs a can, anoints himself with beer, starts his truck, fires up the nitro, and drives himself out of his own grave, all to the accompaniment of a choir of angels in full voice. As he falls to the ground horribly injured, Kayo cries out, "Ranger! Don't die on me now!" to which McQuade responds epochally, "Get me a beer, kid."

Having lost daughter, dog, lover and best friend, McQuade follows Wilkes to Mexico, where there is a huge set-piece battle between the good guys and the bad guys, capped by a karate matchup between the World Champion Norris and the much less talented Carradine, who is allowed a few good kicks and punches before being dispatched to his reward.

Amazingly, this well-casted, well-acted, well-crafted and perennially popular film spawned no sequels, but it did inspire Norris' mild salsa version TV show, WALKER, TEXAS RANGER. A well-spent ninety minutes, LONE WOLF McQUADE may never be your girlfriend's favorite film, but it's a movie Everyman can enjoy.

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A good film... a GOOD film with Chuck Norris. It's completly epic and God bless the Kung Fu guy for being in it, it's a duel that was made in B-grade heaven. There's so much juicy material in this; a baptism of beer, a midget in a wheelchair, killer Ennio Morricone wannabe soundtrack... oh baby... This movie is an ultimate date classic. Must see on every level.

Watch it for... JUST WATCH IT.

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This was, as a whole, a surprisingly good action movie starring one of my favorite martial arts/action stars. The plot was a little...farfetched; I mean, stealing military supplies, and from convoys, no less, almost makes for a thrilling plot device. For one who happens to be in the military, though, I just had to say "Oh, come ON!" Anyway, getting past that, this flick has every single thing a guy needs in an action film, and actually does a pretty fine job of it. Let's see...we've got Chuck Norris; a saucy leading lady (Barbara Carrera); Chuck romping around with saucy leading lady; Chuck killing and/or beating up a thousand bad guys; lots of explosions, guns, and car crashes; beer, beer, and more beer; use of construction equipment for other than specified by the manual; a final, bare-knuckle, man-to-man showdown with the main villain (and, actually, David Carradine plays the role very well!); Chuck's patented "thousand-yard stare"...oh, and more explosions and beer. Who could ask for more?

This movie's biggest hook, of course, is Chuck Norris vs. David Carradine (Kung Fu), which to me is one of the better straight-up fight scenes in recent movie history. Nothing terribly fancy, but the two sell some wicked-looking kicks and punches.

As far as action movies go, I wasn't disappointed in anything with "Lone Wolf McQuade" except maybe the plot, but hey, it's a MOVIE. If you like action flicks as well, I'd recommend this one as part of your collection. It's considered a classic, after all...and Chuck doesn't even sing the closing theme.

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He's mean, he's lean, and he's not about to do things by the book! Welcome to the world of the action star, that social loner who won't sit idly by when the scum of the earth prey on the human race. While the rest of us live our little lives playing by the rules like the dupes we are, these guys go out and make a difference. They actually like us despite our weaknesses, amazingly enough, and take care of us out of a sense of responsibility similar to what a lord used to feel for his peons. No matter what they do or whom they kill in the process their instincts never fail them. Even when their partner, significant other, child, or anyone else close to them dies horribly as a result of the threat the action star poses to the villains, they never swerve from their core principles. Their superiors recognize the action star's godlike powers and, while complaining publicly about their reckless behavior, put them right back out on the street to kill the bad guys. No investigative committee will stop these right-wing heroes from mopping up the riffraff. Who needs lawyers or a judicial system when we've got Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone, or Chuck Norris? Not me.

Enter "Lone Wolf McQuade," an archetype of the loner action star film starring none other than martial artist turned movie star Chuck Norris. In this grim thriller, Norris stars as J.J. McQuade, a loose cannon Texas Ranger with a penchant for getting himself into scrapes that result in extremely high body counts. Witness the introductory scenes where McQuade single handedly slaughters a group of Mexican horse thieves in order to save several fellow officers. He stands on a cliff and refuses to flinch even when the goons throw up a volley of fire. What a guy! Then it is off to a ceremony for Dakota (L.Q. Jones), a fellow tough guy who is retiring after years of civil rights' violations. THEN we see McQuade stand down his boss and refuse to partner up with one of the very same officers he just saved from the banditos, the impressionable Kayo (Robert Beltran). After a few scenes in which we see McQuade wow Kayo with his ability to blow holes in stationary targets, we meet Jim's family. Awwww, he's got an understanding ex-wife and a pretty young daughter who loves to spend time with him! But it isn't surprising McQuade's wife left him: the guy lives like a slob in a shack out in the desert, drinking beer all day and playing with his pet wolf. A pet wolf!

Trial and tribulation looms on the horizon with the emergence of Rawley Wilkes (David Carradine) and his diminutive business partner Falcone (David Frishman). Both men are gunrunners trying to make a buck during a time when selling weapons to third world despots and miscreants was a lucrative way to make a living. Wilkes, when he isn't double crossing clients, likes to appear in public martial arts exhibitions with his beautiful girlfriend Lola Richardson nearby (Barbara Carrera). Predictably, McQuade appears at one of these outings and quickly becomes enmeshed in a fight with several of Wilkes's goons. The two men stare at one another and then retreat to battle another day. It's not too long after this confrontation that McQuade decides to bring down Wilkes's operation, which he proceeds to do with the intermittent help of Kayo and a rat named Snow (William Sanderson). The feds decide to make an appearance too, sending in disgruntled agent Jackson (Leon Isaac Kennedy) to help McQuade bring down the baddies. Off they go to Mexico and a violent, explosion filled showdown with the smirking Rawley Wilkes. Did I mention that Carradine's character likes to wear sweaters out in the desert? Not only is he a bad guy, he was apparently born without sweat glands.

"Lone Wolf McQuade" goes so far over the top and boasts so many clichés that it is easy to overlook the stylistic elements injected into what is essentially a run of the mill action movie. Director Steve Carver decided to turn this picture into a spaghetti western set in Texas during the modern day, so he hired a composer to mimic Ennio Morricone and shot a lot of scenes where we see extreme close-ups of the characters' faces. Sometimes this technique actually works, but far too often it doesn't. The movie treats us to tons of ridiculous scenes, including a "touching" sequence where McQuade mourns the killing of his pet wolf as well as an outrageously unbelievable scenario in which J.J. drives his rocket equipped truck (!) out of a giant grave. It sounds ridiculous, and it is, but "Lone Wolf McQuade" IS an enjoyable action flick. Lots of stuff blows up, car chases abound, and the body count climbs into the high double digits. Heck, even L.Q. Jones's massive coif inspires more interest than derision (although there is derision, no mistake about it). The film so aggressively indulges in its action sequences that it's relatively easy to ignore the wooden acting from Norris (bad) and from Leon Isaac Kennedy (worse). When I grow up I want to be just like J.J. McQuade.

MGM released "Lone Wolf McQuade" with an anamorphic widescreen transfer (yay!) but only a trailer as an extra. What's up with MGM and these barebones releases for old '80s action films? What, Chucko couldn't take a break from his infomercials to record a commentary track for this film? And what about Carradine? He's got some time on his hands after filming the two "Kill Bill" films, right? Anyway, give this one a shot if you like action films; it's cheesy, frantic, and imminently watchable.

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